scrapped jadam oneshots :')

Breaking at Vidcon

This one sat in the drafts for a long time. Wrote it cause I was sad, wasn't sure if I should post it. Also bad. You're reading it now though so go ahead I guess. 

***Angst warning (maybe? I think it's just sad. But it has happy ending! I wasn't planning on it but as I was writing it kinda happened so... you get happy ending! anyway this angst warning is really long so imma stop writing.)***
This is also very inspired by Bo Burnhams song "ART IS DEAD." I didn't wanna straight up use his lyrics for all of it so I tried to rephrase most of it.

I scroll through the thousands of questions. I'm doing a QnA panel at Vidcon, functioning on an energy drink and a granola bar.

"Will you ever get another dog?" I read out loud, "Mm... maybe? I dunno I'm pretty happy with Floof."

Everyone cheers, making me smile at the thought of my precious puppy.

"Yeah! Floof!!" I look out at the crowd for a moment and get blinded by the spot light on me. I look back to my phone.

"I don't know which one to do so I'm just gonna close my eyes pick a random one." After scrolling frantically for a moment I stop with my finger on the screen.

I read it out, "Hey James. You look sad. Is everything okay?" I freeze for a moment. My heart starts thumping and my palms become sweaty.

"Aha... what do you mean? I'm fine!"

Before I can move on someone screams out, "No you're not!!"

Before I know it the entire crowd is chanting for me to tell them what's wrong. My chest feels tight as I try to think of a way out of this.

The screaming of the crowd continues, getting louder and louder, making my ears ring. I shakily raise the microphone to my mouth. The crowd suddenly quietens down, awaiting my answer.

"I'm crazy," I whisper.

Even though I was quiet my voice echos through the hall.

"I'm crazy... to think I'm worth this attention..."

Murmurs start softly drifting through the air. "All this money I worked hard for... I'm crazy to think I deserve it..."

Tears start falling from my eyes and onto the edge of my shirt. "It's easy to explain... Have you ever been to kids birthday party and there's a kid that just won't stop screaming?"

"Cause he's just a little attention seeker. And when he grows up and he's drawing cartoons, he'll be rewarded for never maturing or learning that not every day is about him, there's other people, you selfish jerk!"

"I shouldn't have all this money or attention... I don't deserve my loving partner! I sleep in late while you work at the drug store..." I blink frantically trying not to let my vision be blurred by my tears.

"My drug's attention and I'm addicted..." The murmuring gets louder. "I'm addicted to all this attention!" The talking stops when I raise my voice.

"And all the poor people deserve this money so much more than me!" My breathing is still quick and my heart rate rapid.

"I guess I just wanted my name in lights... even though I could've fed a family of four for forty fortnights..." I take a deep breath,

"FORTY GOD DAMN FORTNIGHTS!"

The hall is silent again, only broken by someone crying. The ringing in my ears getting louder. My eyes blurry, even with dry eyes.

"Ja...? ..ou... kay?" I look up and see Adam beside me, holding me up by the shoulders. The look of worry in his eyes is the most intense I've ever seen.

I swallow harshly and look around. I'm still on stage, but on the floor, surrounded by staff.

"Jame... ou... gotta answer me." Nodding slowly coming back to earth. I hum telling him I heard.

"Good... I'm gonna help you up, alright?" Adam stands up with a hand around my waist leading me across the stage.

"Please God forgive me..."

"What was that James?"

"I am an artist, please don't revere me."

Adam keeps dragging me off stage as I mumble to myself.

Aight this is probably where I would've ended it but I'm gonna keep this happy ending for you dear reader. Enjoy :P

"I am an artist, please don't respect me. I am an artist, you're free to correct me."

"We need to get him somewhere quiet through the halls! Are there any security guards around?" Adam walks past the back stage curtain with me stuck to his side and two security guards on either side of us.

"I'm crazy..."

"It's okay Jameson. Hang in there."

"I'm so unworthy..."

"Don't say that, please!"

"Unworthy of all of this..."

As we're walking through the hall I hear a familiar voice. "Wh- Adam is that James?? Is he okay?!"

"I don't know... We're just trying to get him somewhere quiet. Gotta go, Jaiden! I'll keep you updated!" Adam rushes past her and all the other people trying to get out attention.

"Crazy, self obsessed, screw-up..."

"Is there anyone in the Instagram lounge??" Adam calls out to someone by the door of the lounge. The person shakes their head.

Adam quickly pulls me inside. "Alright, Jameson, everything's okay."

He sits me down on the couch and kneels in front of me. "James, what's going on??"

"I'm a self centred, psychotic, attention seeking, loser," I mumble, still breathing sharply.

"James, you need to breath with me okay?" Adam places his hand over mine, "In... and out... that's it, just breathe..."

My breathing steadies after a few minutes, bringing my senses back. My eyesight stabilises, the pounding in my head slows and my ears stop ringing.

"There you go..." Adam lets go of my hand and gets up off the ground to sit next to me on the couch.

"Wanna tell me what happened out there?" Adam wraps an arm around me and pulls me towards him.

"I... I guess I broke," I mumble.

We both sit in silence before Adam speaks up. "You think you're... you think you're all those things you said?"

"Pft, no!... maybe? ...Well, actually, yes..." Adam quickly jumps to pull me into a hug.

"Oh Jamesy... I'm so sorry I wasn't able to help you..."

"It's fine. It's my fault anyway. I should've told you."

Adam sighs as he pulls away from me, resting his forehead on mine. "I love you Jameson. And I'm here for you."

I smile, "Thanks... and I love you too."

Adam sits back and gives me a stern look. "Now don't do that again!"

I chuckle, "Alright..."

You can tell I gave up the second it got happy lol. I was in the mood of the song and I wanted it to be sadddd. But I don't know how I would've done it. It's fine though. I have so many more opportunities for sad :D

Okay I'm sorry bye haha