𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝔂 *{𝓐 𝓙𝓸𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂}*

End The Pain

(Suicide is never the answer)

She wasn't sure if the kids said anything, because she spaced out. She shuffled her feet to her bedroom, sitting down on her bedroom. That's when it hit her harder than before: He was gone. Hopper was gone.

She broke down crying. She glanced at a picture on her bedside. It was a picture of Hopper and her a year ago. She had invited him over for dinner (as was usual), and Jonathan was of course, taking pictures. She had that by her bedside for so long, but now she just wanted it gone. She shoved the photo into one of her nightstand's drawer, memories she swore she forgot flooding back into her mind. Se laid down, sobbing heavily. The pain was hitting her like a runaway train. This was worse than death, and she wanted it over.
She knew she shouldn't, but she started to think, she could end it.
No, Joyce. I know it's painful, but the kids need you. El needs you. The good side of her head insisted
They could live with their friends. Or Murray. I just need this to end. I can't live like this. End it. The bad side of her head took over. She checked that the kids had gone to sleep, and since they did, she started to write.

Dear whoever's reading this

I'm sorry. You might be shocked with what I did. I couldn't live with my life with the pain I've been through.

El, Will, and Jonathan: I'm so sorry. I'm sorry with leaving you guys by yourself. I pray you won't think me selfish. Just go live with one of your friends. Whatever happens, please, just don't live with your father. I love you guys so much.

I'm sorry.

Joyce Byers.

A few tears rolled down her face. She had to do this. This was too painful. She was tired of life hurting her over and over again. She placed the note down on the counter of the kitchen as she grabbed a knife. She didn't want to do it, but she had to. Tears dropped down her face onto the blade. After a second, she struck her wrist with the knife-edge. Crying about Hopper and leaving her kids, she made a few more cuts on her wrist. The slashes began to bleed frantically, and she continued to cry while blood spewed from her veins. Eventually, her surroundings began dark. She felt herself slide down the counter, and she passed out, seeing a small light.
After that, she was sure she was dead. She couldn't think, hear, or see anything. But something told her that, sadly, the pain wasn't over. She was still alive.
After a few minutes, which was probably hours, her eyes slowly fluttered open. She was laying in her room, surrounded by the kids. Damn it, she was still alive.

The kids hadn't noticed her yet, cause she heard them whisper "Is she going to wake up?"
"I don't know El. It's not that simple." Jonathan told the young girl. In his hand, he held the note, which was stained with tears. She tried to speak, but it came out a strange sound, which was enough to grab their attention
"Mom?" Will asked hopefully
She smiled to reassure them she was there, a few tears in her eyes, but she couldn't figure out what they were about. Hopper, or the kids, or that her plan to end her suffering hadn't worked, or that she knew that no matter what, this meant more pain.
"Mom!" Jonathan threw his arms around his mother, crying. Once they stopped crying, the kids asked "W-Why did you do that? Why did you try to do this- to kill yourself?"
She couldn't speak about it. Now, she knew she shouldn't have done it, but at the same time, she just wanted all the pain to end.
"I-I can't talk about it." She muttered, hoping that her responds would be enough
"Is this about Hopper? But-just why? I don't understand." Jonathan asked, trying to figure out her pain, which she knew he would never be able to do
"You don't understand cause you don't know the pain I've been through!" She snapped at him, regretting it immediately. To keep them from responding, she turned on to her side and said, "Close the door when you leave."
They did as she told them, but she could hear them outside her room
"What can we do?" Will asked
"There's nothing we can do to help her. She's in too much pain." Jonathan said
She could hear El sobbing, and immediately felt bad. What if she had died? El would've lost two parents in one night. She felt really bad now.
She looked down at her wrist, but now the cuts were covered with a bandage, a little bit of blood staining the white bandage. She felt a tear drop down on to her arm as she began to sob quietly. She just wanted Hopper back. She just wanted him to hold her in his strong arms, and God she was so sure his lips felt amazing. For the rest of the night, she laid there, dreamless.