𝓟𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓪𝔂 *{𝓐 𝓙𝓸𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓻 𝓢𝓽𝓸𝓻𝔂}*

April

(Joyce's POV)

Her eyes shot open, and immediately, she could tell it was way too early. It was still dark outside, the light from the moon shining into their bedroom.
She shifted to her other side to see him. Hopper was deep in sleep, frowning at his dream. She wished she could know what was going on in his head. He'd been acting weird for a while, and having nightmares that he would never tell her about, and deny, saying, 'I'm fine.', but the tears in his eyes said otherwise.
But, today, she was going to do everything in her power to make him have a good day. Because it was his birthday, and no nightmares could make someone's birthday bad, right?
She knew she wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep, so stealthily, she slipped off the bed, pulled on her robe so she had some clothes on besides her bra and underwear, just in case the kids came down, and quietly, trying to keep the wood from creaking, made her way downstairs and started to decorate for Hop's birthday party later. It was small, with just the kids and their friends, but she wanted it to be special. He deserved it; it was his first birthday in their family.
After 2 or so hours, at 6:00, she was sure the rest of the family would be up soon, so she pulled out pancake mix, and started the stove, placing a pan on it and pouring the liquid mix in
"Joycie?" Someone who, by the voice and the nickname, she could immediately tell was Hopper, asked from behind her
"Hey." She turned from her cooking to see Hopper, in the pajamas he'd pulled back on, rubbing his eyes awake and yawning
"What are you doing up so early?" Hop asked through his yawn
"Making breakfast." She motioned to the pan, where the pancake mix had been in for probably far too long
Hopper took that as a good enough answer, and sat down at the table, "Are the kids up yet?"
"Nope." She answered, and gave him a kiss on the nose, "Happy birthday, by the way."
"Thanks." He gave her a smile that, for some reason, part of her told her was fake. That along with him having what she suspected was nightmares, she could tell something was up; he wasn't telling her something.
"Hey, are you okay?" She shifted her eyes from breakfast back to him
"Yeah, why would I be?" He asked her
"It's just that-Earlier, I thought you were having nightmares-and-and you just didn't seem-normal." She wasn't quite sure how to put her emotions into words, or at least words that made sense together
"Joyce, I'm okay, don't worry." Hopped smiled then, when it was obvious that she wasn't convinced, added, "Look, Joyce, I love you. If anything was wrong, I'd tell you."
"Promise?" She asked
"Promise." He smiled, but, just for a second, in his eyes, she could see pain.
She didn't have time to decode this, because then the kids came downstairs.
"Hey guys!" Hopper greeted the kids
"Happy birthday Dad!" The two of them hugged him, then Jonathan soon joined them and did the same
She stayed quiet throughout breakfast, and let the kids talk about the party, trying their best to keep a few thing surprises.
What did it all mean? The nightmares, the look in his eyes, how he's been acting weird for months-what did it mean? Did something happen that he didn't want to tell her about? Did he get hurt? Was he cheating on her? No. She refused to think that. She knew Hop, he wouldn't do that. But then what was going on with Hop?

(Hopper's POV)

He didn't desurve to be here, sitting with them, eating breakfast. He didn't desurve them. He hated himself for everything, the lying, him hiding, what he was letting Belle do to him to keep them safe. If they found out, not only would the be mad about him cheating, but they'd also leave him for lying. He knew everything about this was wrong, but they were happy. He had to keep it that way.
"Hey, you good?" Joyce asked, and startled him by placing her hand on his shoulder
"Yeah." He lied, trying to smile despites what was going on in his head
"Just making sure." Joyce kissed his cheek, "We have a long day ahead of us, so you might wanna put some clothes on."
He let himself smirk, "What is going on, Byers?"
"You'll see, James." Joyce practically whispered the last part, and made him go red
He went upstairs to pull on his clothes, and when the door closed, and it was just him in the room alone, the invasive thoughts returned, and he had to force himself not to cry. His family seemed to have some sort of surprise planned for his birthday, and all his brain could think about was how he was hurting them, even if he hated every second of it
"You sure you're okay? You look kinda pale." Joyce worried minutes later, when he had came downstairs in his clothes. He had stopped crying, but it must've still shown
"Joyce, I'm fine, don't worry." He was about to sigh, but saw that Joyce felt bad, "It's sweet that you worry, though."
"Thanks." Joyce smiled, then went back to what he'd like to call mom mode, "Are you ready?"
"Almost, just gotta put my shoes on. Where are we going, anyway?" He asked as he went to the front door to put his shoes on
"It's a surprise!" Was all he got as answer, making him incredibly suspicious of what his girlfriend and family had planned. Murder, perhaps?
"Don't worry, nothing illegal." Will assured him as he also went for his shoes. So it wasn't illegal, that was the only clue he had, and it was a terrible clue
"Okay, everything's in the car and ready to go." Jonathan, who he hadn't even noticed go out to the car, came back in told Joyce
"Great, and the others should meet us there, so I think we're all ready to go!" Joyce declared
"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going?" He almost begged
"You'll see. Come on, dork!" Joyce grinned and grabbed his, taking him to the passenger's seat of the car
"You're acting mysterious." He commented as he buckled himself in
"Aren't I always?"" She winked from the driver's seat
Once the kids got in, Joyce began to drive, and since he had no idea where they were going, his brain translated that to having that feeling when you get off an airplane into a new state, amazed by everything new around you, even if you'd seen it a million times.
It even took him a second to recognize the river that they parked near and started to head towards with the kids' friends and Mrs. Wheeler slowly coming into vision
"What is this?" He turned to ask Joyce
She handed him one of the fishing poles the Jonathan had brought from the car, "Birthday surprise. You like fishing?"
Despite everything that remained in his head, the was only being silenced by people talking he, for the first time in a while, genuinely grinned, "I love you, you know that?"
"Hey!" One of the kids called, "We're here too!"
He laughed, and said, "Alright, who wants to go fishing?"
At first, he wasn't having much luck. He wasn't bad, but his thoughts would take over and distract him, then he would miss the fish
"Shit." He cursed under his breath when it happened again
"Hey, you okay?" Joyce sat down next to him, setting her finish pole down on the ground next to them, "It's your birthday, but you don't seem to be having fun."
"No-It's not that-It's just I've not been about to sleep very well for a while, that's all." He knew she cared, and he knew she would want to know, but for some reason, he couldn't even tell her what was going on in his head, though it wasn't completely related to the Belle problem
"Aw, I'm sorry. Nightmares?"
He reminded himself that this wasn't an unusual topic for him and Joyce, or even their family. God knows how many times one of them had woken up from a nightmares in tears, and the others had to comfort them
But that was in the comfort of their bed. If he cried now, he'd be making a scene, and he wouldn't let his problems ruin everything
So all he said was, "Yeah, but it's okay."
It was anything but okay
There was silence between them for a few moments, but then Joyce's head fell onto his shoulder, their eyes fixated on the water, "I love you, you know that?"
He turned to look at her, "I know. I love you too."
He was about to kiss her when he thought, No, you don't get to hurt her then kiss her
And while the better part of his head to him that was wrong, that he was going it to keep them safe, it made him feel even worse, so he stood up before Joyce could notice the shift on his face, and said, "We should probably-"
"-Yeah." Joyce mumbled awkwardly, and though he was scared she was mad, the kiss on the cheek, though he didn't desurve it, said against it

(Joyce's POV)

Something was wrong with Hopper. There was no doubt about it in her mind. He backed out of a kiss! On the lips! ON THE LIPS! He had never backed out of a kiss. She just had no idea why.
"Hey Joyce." Karen plopped down next to her, "How ya doing? Where's Hop?"
"I don't know." She muttered, staring at her pole
"Something wrong?" Karen leaned over to see her face and look past her hair that was covering the side of her head
"Hop's acting weird, I don't know why." She sighed, "Do you think he's like-cheating or something?"
"Oh Joycie, there's no way in hell he's cheating." Karen rubbed her back, "I promise, everything's okay. Do you want me to talk to him?"
"Y-Yeah, can you? Just-Just don't tell him I thought he was cheating. I don't want him to think-"
"Breath, don't worry, I got this." Karen winked, and got up and went to Hopper, who was farther from her than she'd like.
A few minutes later of Karen talking to Hopper, almost looking like she was scolding him, he came back over to her side
"Hey, Karen said you were worried about me." Hopper wrapped his arm around her shoulder, "I love you, everything I do is for you and this family. Trust me, everything's fine."
Her brain tried to tell her that something was still off, but his ocean-filled eyes made her heart flutter so much, she ignored it.
"I love you too." Her mouth melted into a smile, and kissed him, "Happy birthday, sweetie."
After that, Hopper went back to normal, even if it was just for a little bit. They fished till lunch, she even caught a fish and got a kiss from Hop. Then Ted came back with pizza for lunch, so they all took a break and ate.
"Hey." Hop sat down next to her Hop on the ground. They'd let the kids take the picnic table, so that left them eating on the dirt, watching the river.
"Hey." She smiled. Though her anxiety tried to overtake her thoughts with worries, she kept herself grounded. He said everything was fine, so everything was fine, she had to continue to tell herself.
"Thank you for all of this, by the way." Hopper said
"Thanks, but I didn't do and plan all of this. The others-"
"Joyce." Hop looked her in the eyes, smiling, "Come on, we both know you did the most work. Take the compliment."
She let out a giggle that made her sound like a little girl, "Thank you."
"Joyce! Jim!" Karen called to them, "Come join us, ya lovebirds!"
She chuckled, "We should probably join the party instead of flirting."
"But I like this!" he whined
"Jim." She shot him a sarcastic glare
"Fine, fine." He sighed with a smile, and joined her as they sat down with the others
In an attempt to start a conversation while the kids chatted between themselves, Ted asked, "So, Chief, how's work?"
Hopper pursed his lips together, though still answered, "Good."
And after that, he shut down again, focused on eating instead of the conversation, and not even holding her hand under the table as they usually do at meals.
So it's related to work, her anxiety rang in her head
Shut up, she told herself
It's probably Belle. There's no way he hadn't cheated on you yet with her. They've probably slept together and you're just too stupid to-
No. Shut up. You're wrong. Hopper loves me. He loves the kids. He wouldn't hurt any of us, she told her head, and made all the bad thoughts go dim, at least dimmer than before
"Hey." Karen almost shook her out of her thinking, "You good?"
"Yeah." She lied
They stayed at the river and continued to fish until 5:00, when people started to have to go home to prepare dinner, so they decided that would be a good time to end the party, so they all said goodbye to their friends, and drove home.
Hey got home, and she went to start making dinner. As she did this, she thought over what had happened earlier. She didn't like that she was now 100% sure that he was lying to her, but she couldn't really force him to tell her what was going on. She hated to think that Hopper had become a repeat of Lonnie, but here she was again, losing her boyfriend to a hot blonde woman with big boobs.
There had to be some reason, right? She tried to cling onto what hope for him she had left. Hopper loved her, he wasn't abusive like Lonnie, so there had to be some logical explanation, right? Maybe he was doing something to keep them all safe. But if that was the case, then why lie?
She continued to think this over until, around the time she was almost done, Hopper, having changed into different clothes, hugged her from behind.
"Hey." He said into her ear, a smile in his voice
"Hey." was all she said back, with her head still fighting over if she should kiss him or step out of the hug. She did neither, to keep him from being suspicious, and just continued to make plates for everyone
"You still think I'm lying, don't you?" Hopper asked, somehow catching on, "Joyce. I love you; I love out family; for god's sake, I was willing to die to keep all of you safe. Why don't you belive me that nothing's wrong?"
She knew that was a lie, there was no way he wasn't lying, but his voice was filled with so much genuine emotion, almost like he didn't want to be lying, that she let down her walls, just for him.
"You're right. I'm sorry." She sighed, "It's just-"
"Lonnie?" Hop finished the sentence "You're scared I'm becoming, or going to become Lonnie, aren't you?"
She couldn't even look him in the eyes. She felt ashamed, comparing a man loves her and almost died for her to Lonnie.
"Joyce." Hop ran his fingers though and down her hair, "I just need you to remember this: no matter what happens, everything I do is for you, and for our family. No matter what I have to do, it's for you. Promise me you'll always remember that?"
She hugged him, burying her face in the same warn chest that always comforted her, staining his shirt with a few of her tears.
"I promise." She said, and looked up, "I love you. You still love me?"
He chuckled, "Joyce. Always."
She knew he was lying about everything being fine, something was definatly wrong, but everything else, no matter what her head said, she could tell wasn't a lie. Whatever was going on, he was going out of love and a want to keep them safe. But what was that? What was he doing?
Though the rest of the night went smoothly, she still was thinking everything over, but it was all a bit more normal. She was back to kissing Hop, which she could tell he was at least enjoyed a little bit, and by bedtime, she was back to sleeping peacefully on his chest, with the worries more in the back of her head now. But thanks to nightmares, she couldn't stop thinking: What wasn't he telling her?