100 Years to Live (Completed)

Chapter 19 : Mural

It's a funny thing, love is. It's the cause of all your agony and all your joy. It's the best and worst mixed together into a beautiful mess.

I love Clarence. I really do. But I have only known him for less than half a year. I've admired him from afar, yes, but if was only a few months ago when he suddenly took an unexpected interest in me. I still don't know what he sees in me. I still don't know him.

I love Ethan. I really do. He is my best friend when we were little, when we were growing, and right now. He's the one I rely on, the one I trust with my life, the one who I'm so comfortable with. But he was just my best friend. I never saw him as anything more…until now.

You know, the whole immortal thing sounded so great in the beginning. Living forever, like everyone else. Of course, I still want it…it's just how I become immortal that's tricky. Either getting bitten by Clarence or kissed by Ethan, it's a permanent decision.

There's no going back.

I'm not sure if I'm ready to make a life decision yet. Maybe I want to stay human, at least for a while longer. There is so much I want to do, so much I need to know, before the anticipated judgment day.

For example, what really happened with Garret and Marilyn? Why does Janice hate me but not really? Why was I adopted?

I'm scared. My birthday is next week. I DON'T want to be a vampire, not yet.

"It's so good to have a full van again!" Lindsey smiled at us through her rearview mirror.

The plague was over. Everything turned out fine. And now here we are, the six of us, going to school again like nothing ever happened.

Lindsey was back to her cheery, optimistic, perfect self. Frankie was lively and fun again. Megan was helping Natalie catch up on the latest drama that she missed while she was out sick. It was just another normal day…

Except for me and Ethan.

Long story short, things between us have gotten awkward times a thousand. Once you cross over the line of 'I only like you as a friend', you can never go back.

The tension between us is always there. Each time Ethan steps in the room, I get butterflies and I have trouble breathing. I want it to stop; I want to feel normal around him again. But the only way to do that is if I dump Clarence and run into Ethan's arms. I'm not going to do that. I don't think.

Ethan looked at me warily, then put his headphones in. I reached over and stole one, sticking it in my own ear. Just like that one day, back before anything happened. I smiled and he smiled back. Only it took more effort than I would have thought.

Arriving at school, we all got out and dispersed. Ethan and I continued walking together and sharing headphones. We jam out to some hardcore harmonica solo as we make our way to my locker. Because that's how things are with me and Ethan. Spontaneous, restless, and obnoxious. I could almost say things were normal again between us.

And then there's Clarence, leaning against my locker like a runoff model, waiting for me.

Almost as if there was some invisible barrier, Ethan stoped abruptly. I went on walking though, causing the headphone to get yanked out of my ear due to his stopping. Clarence and Ethan looked at each other.

"Hello," Ethan said softly.

"Hi," Clarence replied.

I looked between the two, ready to break apart a fight if I have to.

"Well, I'll see you later, Noelle." With that, Ethan turned and walked off.

Then Clarence turned to me and started telling me about his morning and the usual stuff. That's what always happens. Each of them pretending the other didn't really exist.