100 Years to Live (Completed)

Chapter 22 : Decision

So…today's Christmas. Today's my birthday.

*gulp*

They all try to ignore it. They all pretend like nothing is wrong when everything is wrong. They all act like I didn't put a damper on their holidays. But I did. Even the brightest spirits and the loudest carols couldn't chase away the gloom that hung over us this Christmas.

The gloom that was my last day as a human.

I've got more cons than pros about this. All signs are shouting 'DON'T DO IT!' I don't want this. I really don't. I do not want to be a vampire, even if it does mean living forever. No. It's just not worth it. Yet… I love Clarence. But it's more than that. There's something else, another part of me, that won't give this up. Perhaps it's the inner reckless girl with the sense of danger and adventure finally coming out of me. After living a boring life in this boring town, I want something exciting for once.

Clarence betrayed Janice. Clarence killed Marilyn. Clarence killed my mother. Why does that make me more attracted to him?

And I knew the resolve. When it's the sensible brain versus the stubborn heart, the heart always wins. Even if it's for the worse.

After hot chocolate and opening presents with the family, after the gift exchange party, after hanging out with the friends, after Christmas dinner, after one last subtle hint for me to stay, after Garret and Lindsey were both asleep, I snuck out.

Ethan got me a car, did I tell you? He bought me a car as a final bribe. So yeah, I felt kind of guilty climbing in and driving to Clarence's, doing the one thing the car wasn't for. There was also the fact that I still didn't technically have a license yet. Oh well. Soon enough, I pulled onto Clarence's driveway. Everything was fine and dandy and I was on an adrenaline rush. It wasn't until he let me in and we were alone in his room did the doubts flood my mind at last. Finally. Here were the second thoughts. Here comes my common sense.

Am I crazy?

Am I out of my mind?

Do. I. Want. To. DIE?!

Oh god. My knees gave out in fright and I toppled onto his bed. My heart stopped, my breath quickened. I freaked out. There was no escape, nowhere to run, no one to turn to, and worst of all…no backing out.

I am so stupid! What have I agreed to??

"I love you, Noelle." His words sounded foreign to me.

Maybe I could get out of this. Maybe it's not too late. "Clarence…" But the words wouldn't form on my tongue.

"Shh, it's okay. Don't be scared." He came over and wrapped his arms around. It was supposed to be comforting, I guess. What it actually did was trap me further. "I won't hurt you. I promise."

"You're just filled with broken promises, aren't you?" I muttered.

"What?"

I looked up at him. The light wasn't on and only the moonlight shined through the window. The ominous setting was just screaming 'bad ending'. I couldn't do this. I don't want this. "Clarence, I…"

I gasped. He was already lowering his head to the spot where my neck met my collarbone and kissed it. His arms tightened around me. I couldn't move.

"No…no please…"

He didn't listen, though. He was smiling scarily at me, moving ever closer to the vein on my neck. "I haven't had a drink of blood in, well, much too long."

Help. Help. HELP! Kick, yell, do something! Why the hell am I still sitting here playing obedient prisoner?

"No, I don't—"