Chasing Pavements

Anger and Comfort

STEF POV

"He left you all the way across town in the snow! What a fucking asshole, piece of shit, and I have every right in my mind to go over to that precinct and beat his fucking ass!! How FUCKING dare he! How FUCKING dare he!!!" Lena screams the loudest I have ever heard as she is pacing my kitchen back and forth. This was the angriest I have ever seen her as I gently grab her hand and she sits across fro me clearly steaming. "And in the snow to top it off knowing your pregnant!!! Who the fuck does that! Who?""

"Len it's ok. I got the bus. I should have taken my car when I met him for lunch. That was dumb of me. But I'm ok." I sooth as her nostrils are flaring and she looks as if she may kill someone.

"No he shouldn't have left you there. What a fuckin' asshole! How dare he! And to tell you it's not his child! As if you go fucking around! He's the one who goes fucking around! Fuck him! Wait until I see him! Just wait! Infact I'm going there now to rip him a new one!" Jumping up from the chair I quickly grab her hand pulling her back.

"Lena no!! Just leave it! Just leave it. Ok? I'm ok." I say as she turns to look at me her face softening. "It's not worth it ok? He showed me how he feels and I should have known. It's ok. Honest."

"I'm sorry I'm just so angry at what he did and what he said to you. Furious. Listen, are you ok? Are you feeling ok honey? Where's my damm manners. Come let me get you something to eat and you can relax on the couch."

"I'm ok Len. I am I wouldn't lie." I reassure her as I can see she is torn and clearly very upset over this. That alone made me feel badly because deep inside I didn't want my life to affect hers the way it was.

"He's a piece of shit by the way."

"Yeah I know." Rubbing my forehead I feel her grab my hand which causes me to look into her warm brown eyes again. "Len, I don't want my life affecting you like this. I told you. You have your own babies to take care of. You do and...

"Stefanie stop." She interrupts putting one of her hands up to stop me. " I'm in it and I'm not leaving it. Your life is not a mess, you just have a shit head who needs to piss of. So, shut the fuck up and get used to me being around and making sure my friend is ok. Got me?" Busting out laughing at her she pulls my hand to her mouth and sofly kisses the back of it. Lena was really was so sweet to me and I had thought about what Jude said about her maybe being gay. I wasn't sure if she was or not, and it wasn't really something I planned on asking her. But what I did know was that she was becoming someone so important to me as I grab her hand and hold it back tight.

Sometimes I got nervous, a tad nervous in these moments that we seemed to have more and more of lately, and it was possible she could sense that as she tucked my long blonde hair behind one of my ears and I break eye contact with her looking down at our hands. She held my hand often sometimes all night if the kids had a sleepover here and it left me feeling confused about my own feelings.

"Wanna watch Love Connection?" She ask breaking the silence as I nod my head. "I didn't eat yet either and you we can relax a bit before the kids get home. Sound good?"

"But of course. Lets see how Richies date went!"

"Ha you know it went bad." She says as we head to my couch. It was nice to sit as I put my feet up and Lena grabs us two bowls of soup along with a glass of OJ and my vitamins. Love Connection, had become our favorite show we'd watch together right before the kids got home from school and on our days off as we would laugh and make fun of all the contestants. Even at the hotel we were often assigned the same rooms to clean and we would watch The Young and the Restless and All My Children. The story lines were cheesy but they reminded me of when I'd watch them as a kid with my grandmother and Lena felt the same. It also made the time go faster but most of the time we ended up laughing and gossiping about the hotel guests.

Sometimes on days that I felt sicker and just couldn't bare to even stand Lena cleaned all the rooms. I also insisted I could do it but she never listened and would let me sleep and for hours. She would make us lunch, massage my neck and back, and just be the kindest person to me ever. It was almost like she could read my mind at times and understand what I needed and needed to get off my chest. Even before I did. Deep inside I knew she was such a good friend, my kids loved her, and she helped me more then anyone in my life ever had. Truth was, I tried to help her equally with her own children, and with her life but it always seemed she did more and didn't mind it. It was strange though, strange to have a woman behave this way to me for it was something I always expected from a man. But never got.

Right now I wasn't sure what I was doing in terms of this baby but I knew I needed to decide and talk it out a bit, something she encouraged me to do anytime. But she never pressured me, she never made me feel lousy and if anything she continued to tell me what a good mother I was despite me feeling like I was anything but that.  Her constant encouragement did help my confidence, and also her deep understand of Jude.  Something I knew no one understood, not even me at times.

"Take these and don't fight me on it Stefanie." Handing me the prenatal vitamins I roll my eyes at her as she gives me her usual look and I laugh.

"Yes mother." I tease as she playfully slaps my arm. But I was feeling rather tired as I couldn't help but rest my head in her lap, something she never minded. Soon feeling her affectingly rub my temples like always and stroke my hair, she seemed to be aware it calmed my anxiety. Anxiety I didn't even know I had and anxiety she seemed to take away just by her touch and presence alone.