Chasing Pavements

Her Mother

STEF POV

"Ma what are you doing here?" I say surprised to see my mother at my front door for she is the last person I'd ever expect to show up at my home. We weren't on a non speaking basis but we didn't exactly talk and she didn't really know what was going on in my life for the most part. I loved her of course but I kept my distance for at times it was just too much of a headache dealing with her and my sister's drama.

"Oh nice seeing you too Stefanie. Can I come in im freezing my saggy tits off out here!"

"I'm sorry Ma it's just you don't usually stop by like this." I say letting her inside as she wipes her feet on the doormat from the dusty snow.

"Well I was in the area driving around and wanted to say hi. There a crime in that?" It had been almost two years since I had seen her and it was never usually under the best of circumstances so my suspicions were heightened. Probably something she picked up on.

"No. Course not. Come in Ma. Can I get you something?"

"No, but when you are popping that baby out?" She asks as I let out a sigh not even realizing she could fucking tell. I had on a giant sweatshirt with leggings that I thought covered my stomach considering I wasn't even three months along. How the fuck did she know? "What, you wondering how I know? Honey I can tell. Just like I knew you were with Brandon and Jude. Speaking of which where is Brandon?"

"In jail Ma." I say heading to the kitchen to grab us some hot tea as she unzips her coat and puts it on the back of the chair now taking a seat.  She wasn't a stranger to Brandon's issues at all nor the fact that I hid my pregnancy with him considering I was rather young at the time. With Brandon I was barely 19 and working at the Value Saver when I found out I was pregnant.

"MM not uprising. He takes after his father."

"Yeah well, I didn't raise him like that." 

"Well I didn't raise your sister to be a con artist but she is. Happens Stefanie." Handing her a mug of hot tea I take a seat at the table with her as I tuck my hair behind my ears. "Don't worry I'm not hear to ask for anything I really just was in the neighborhood and was taking a drive."

"I never said you were Ma."

"I do care about you, you know? How's Jude?" She asks sipping her tea as I put my feet up in the chair now feeling the constant leg cramps I was getting almost on a daily basis.

"He's ok. At the library now working on a paper."

"Sweet boy. A little different but sweet."

"Ma, he's not different. Ok? He's himself." I say rolling my eyes as she shrugs her shoulders. 

"Well it's good I stopped by because I'd never know I have another grandchild coming. Rachel just had her 5th you know."

"Yeah? Like she needs another kid."

"She doesn't. Three are in foster care, one is with me, and the other with their father. A mess as usual." She says lighting a smoke as I sip my tea once again. "When is your little girl due?"

"Ma, I never said I was having a girl. I don't even know what I'm having."

"A girl. I can tell by the way you are carrying. And you do show even if you think you don't. I can see it and in your face. Pregnancy makes you and me glow. Doesn't do a dam thing for your sister." She puffs her smoke offering it to me as I shake my head. "But who's the daddy this time? A cop?"

"A cop? What?" I ask surprised as she smiles at me.

"Your sweatshirt baby. That his?" She asks as I could kick myself.

"It's complicated Ma. Ok?"

"Why? He married again?"She asks as I avoid her eyes and take another sip of my tea. "MM, Didn't learn the first time babylove?"

"Mama please." 

"Honey, I'm stating the obvious. You also didn't seem to learn from my mistakes. If you think that man is leaving his wife for you, THINK AGAIN. Because he's not. I got my heart broken many a times over that. Many." I swallow hard knowing what my mother is saying the truth even if she had never really been someone I went to for advice. Ever,j and I wasn't really sure what her motive was for telling me or even for visiting. 

"I'm fine Ma."

"MM. Well just thinking about it Stefanie. Do you want Frankie making this mistake or this new babygirl you are having. Believe me I wish I had shown you and Rachel better." She admits taking the last sip of her tea. "But I need to head back. Natty will be home soon and I have to take her off the school bus. But I wanted to see my second born and maybe next time I can stay longer. If that's ok?"

"It's fine Ma. You're always welcome." I say as she hands me her smoke and I refuse again putting it in the ashtray.

"One puff won't kill you baby. I smoked with you the entire time. But, let me know if you need anything for that baby. And you know keep me informed?" 

"Sure Ma. I will."

Walking her to my door we head outside as the wind surly has picked up along with the snow as I'm hoping Jude doesn't stay at the library much longer. He had went with Gilda to work on their paper together.

"Ok well I'll talk to you later. And remember what I said. That man doesn't love you no matter how good he fucks you. I learned that the hard fucking way. More then once. Don't repeat my shit. I love you."

"I love you too Ma." I smile at my mother as I turn to see Lena exiting her apartment. She softly smiles at me as I return it watching her head down the steps. God did I miss her, I really did to the point it made my stomach hurt as my mother must noticed my distraction.

"Pretty girl. Don't let that one get away." She says as I look to her confused and she winks at me. What the hell?