you belong with me | jaeten

twenty-seven.

"You what?"

"I came to his voice. I came home after you fucked me to oblivion, I mean oblivion on my end. Pretty sure it was just an ordinary fucking for you. He asked me how my day was; if it was eventful. I told him if you fucking me to oblivion is eventful, then yes. One thing leads to another, I don't know if you know, but Jaehyun and I, we never talked about our individual sex life, ever. It's just a forbidden topic between us. Or maybe we're just afraid where it will lead to. Because we started talking about it, I initiated it. And well, the next thing we knew, we both came to each other's voice."

"So you cheated on me?" Johnny's voice was silent but he didn't feel the need to be angry, because the older knows he deserves it, karma is indeed a bitch. But it doesn't lessen the pain that is starting to clench his heart though.

"I think I did."

"I guess we're both cheaters. Though, I can say mine's a whole enchilada and yours is just one of the cilantro."

"Fucking right it is."

"I don't have feelings for Taeyong though."

"You think I have feelings for Jaehyun?"

"He was your first love, Ten. What am I supposed to say?"

"I don't love him. Not in the way at least."

Johnny did not comment further on Ten's reply and let the younger continue crying on his chest. The older did not reply because he knows Ten still loves Jaehyun, and somehow even though he knows Ten loves him too, he has come to accept that he has to share Ten's love with Jaehyun. He wanted to scream how that isn't fair, but he fucking doesn't have any right, not when he cheated. At least Ten tried, at least Ten was committed and at least didn't really cheat, not in the way he did.

Johnny knows that it was a lapse of judgment on Ten's end. And he knows, even without asking the younger that it only happened once. Because that's how Ten is as a person; he's dignified and has a strong grip of what's right and wrong. That is the very reason why he is drawn to him. Ten helps him get his shit together. The younger helps him move forward from the black holes existing in his life.

He knows that Ten will choose him over Jaehyun, it's not even something he's bragging about, it's just based on facts. Ten would never let anyone think of Jaehyun in a different light, like being seen as some rebound Ten dated because Johnny Suh cheated on him.

Ten is loyal to a fault sometimes. 

Ten would never care what anyone thinks of him, but if anyone thinks badly of his friends or remotely done something to hurt them, the younger won't even need to bat an eye before he charges. He has seen that when Yuta cheated on Jaehyun. But sometimes he gets too loyal to people that he doesn't even see them in a different light once he categorizes them with labels unless someone or something points it out to him explicitly. And maybe that's why Ten still doesn't realize how madly in love Jung Jaehyun was (or is) to him.

"I still hate you." Ten murmured, who's now slowly calming down.

"I deserve that." Johnny accepted with defeat.

"But I want to give us another chance." Johnny expected that too, as vile as that sounds. He didn't a few minutes ago, but after Ten told him of what happened between him and Jaehyun, he knew he's got a chance. Because Ten's also guilty of something, and knowing Ten for almost a year now, he knows Ten doesn't like feeling guilty or uneven (like he owes someone), especially when it comes to favors or sins. The younger always feels a need to balance everything out, and Johnny understood it perfectly now.