Luna - Beasts of Beauty Series - Book 1

Chapter Six

As I roll over in bed, the sun's rays shine brightly on my face, reminding me of just how much sleep I did not get again.

It started with tingles on my neck that turned into stabbing pain. The same pain that always ends up making its way down my chest, across my abdomen, and straight to my heart and core. I don't know if I can take much more.

Evander doesn't want me, he has made that very clear. He treats me like scum off the bottom of his shoe. He clearly has interest in some other woman. Why does he have to torture me like this?

He doesn't, I think to myself. And he won't.

With a new sense of determination, I climb out of my bed, ignoring every ounce of pain that stabs at my body. I stumble into the bathroom and make myself look somewhat presentable after my horrible night. Without giving my decision a second thought, I climb down the stairs to the main floor. Instead of stopping at Asher's office like I normally would, I continue down the hall. I pause in front of the large black door. The plaque to the side reads "Office: Alpha Evander", letting me know I am in the right place.

I can smell his smoky lavender scent through the door. I hesitantly bring my hand up, resting my knuckle against the wood. My stomach churns as I pound my knuckles against the door. I hate talking to him.

"Come in," his voice snaps. His tone is cold and annoyed. He must know it's me. I turn the handle and push the door open gently. "What the hell do you want? I'm busy." I flinch at his words as I shut the door. I take a deep breath to settle my nerves. 

I can do this. 

"I know I'm your mate," I tell him quietly, trying to keep my gaze on the floor. I peek up and watch his eyebrows raise; he is intrigued, maybe even shocked. "I know that I'm your mate and I know that you've been bedding someone else."

He stays quiet for a moment, staring at me, his expression blank. My stomach turns over and over again, wrestling with itself as I wait to hear what Evander has to say.

Except, he doesn't say anything. Instead, he laughs.

Despite the unrelenting pain I feel as he laughs at me, I can't help but notice that something about the sound just feels wrong. It's almost as if the laughter is forced, fake even. 

"So?" Evander finally speaks, taking a breath from his laughter. "Is that supposed to change something?"

"I feel it," I tell him. "Every time you kiss her, it bruises me; every time you fuck her..." I spit the word at him, allowing my voice to trail off and my eyes to fall; I can't finish that sentence. 

The pain is relentless and I need it to end. I need to move on and feel some sort of happiness again. I heave a defeated sigh and look back up at him. His emotionless eyes stare into mine and it hurts so much that I am forced to look away after only a moment. 

"I don't care," I lie, tears spilling from my eyes without my permission. "I don't care that you want her and not me. I've been unwanted my whole life; I can live with that. I just need the pain to end." I watch as his face doesn't change. He continues to watch me, the small, amused smile leftover from his laughter still present on his lips. Is this a game to him? "You don't want me so let me go somewhere else. Just reject me already." More tears stream down my cheeks as I watch him. 

He stares at me, the silence almost unbearably loud and painful. I force myself to maintain eye contact. I search his emotionless eyes for something. I'm not sure what I'm looking for, but maybe I'll know it when I find it. It feels as though something is urging me to look away, but I persist. This is the longest I've ever gazed into his eyes, and while they do not hold the emotion for me that they should, they are beautiful.