Gears and Steam

Talking

Edmund

"What's wrong?" I asked, observing my assistant's distressed demeanor. He hadn't said a word to me when he walked through the door; that was unusual.

When Jules didn't say anything, I continued. "You are upset, right? I'm not too great at reading emotions."

Jules smiled weakly. "Yeah, I'm upset."

"Well...why?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Nope, if you get to bug me when I'm upset, then I get to bug you." I gently nudged his arm, then went back to my project while I awaited an answer. I was trying to replicate one of the lap counters that were used at the races. The only problem with this being that I could never really see them. Building one from only a vague idea of the principal was a challenge, but it was something to keep my mind busy. I figured that I could make a small version so that I could tell what lap the cars were on without having to ask people.

Jules took another minute to respond. "Augustus Black."

"What?"

"He was a family friend. One of the best friends I had, in fact. I might have yelled at him today after I found what he did to you. Let's just say we are no longer friends."

"Oh," I stated. "That's rough. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, it's his." Jules's scowl deepened. "I shouldn't even be upset about this."

I stopped working and looked at Jules again. "Your feelings are rational. Trust me, I, uh, I know what it's like to keep bad company and still miss it when it's gone."

"What happened to you?"

"This is not about me."

"Come on, I'm curious," Jules said, looking a bit happier now that he was teasing me. I guess we both felt better while picking on each other.

For some reason, I found myself wanting to tell him everything that had happened to me. I couldn't do that, of course. "I told you there was one person I ever loved. They weren't a good person."

"Oh...we've both lost someone then. Yours might just be a tiny bit worse."

I shrugged. "That doesn't mean your pain means less. Besides, mine happened a long time ago. The pain has dulled...at least a little bit. It's just..."

"It's just...what?"

"It's just that the shards of a broken heart tend to find a way to keep stabbing at you day after day. The edges don't dull, and it can't be healed, no matter what they tell you. Especially when you're someone like me. It just eats away at you from the inside."

"Guilt works in pretty much the same way," Jules sighed.

"What do you have to be guilty about? As far as I can tell, you're the more innocent person like, ever."

Jules gave a weak chuckle. "You'd be surprised. All that stuff you said sounded pretty poetic."

"I used to write love poems in my spare time," I said, turning back to my project.

"Really?"

"No," I scoffed.

"Oh, so you're making jokes now? Since when do you have a sense of humor?"

"I've always had a sense of humor. Most people just don't get it. You laugh sometimes though."

Jules and I both looked at each other for a few seconds then broke down into laughter. Real, actual laughter. I wasn't sure why we were laughing so hard, but both of us seemed to need this. Laughter is the best medicine, right? I wasn't too sure if that was true. Then again, I'd never laughed enough to test it.