Gears and Steam

Love Sick

Edmund

This was nice, I decided. This was good. Jules was okay with my secret, and it seemed that he shared a bit of it, too. He seemed to like affection from me, at least, and when I was working on something at my desk, like now, he wrapped his arm around my waist and talked to me for hours.

"Do you know who we're racing tomorrow?" Jules asked, resting his head on my shoulder.

"No, actually, but Freddie should," I mumbled trying to concentrate on my centipede shaped wind-up toy. It was hard to get the toy to move like a bug. "My attention has pretty much been fixed on you for the past few days."

Jules laughed. "I think I should be happy about that. You're the best." He planted a quick kiss on my cheek, making my face instantly turn red.

"Shall we go ask Freddie?" I mumbled after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Hmm? Yeah, good idea." Jules stood up and laced his hand in mine. I knew I would have to let go as soon as we got near our other teammates, but it was still nice while it lasted.

Freddie was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a book. She was dressed in her usual formal black and green dress, even though she was just lounging around the house today.

"Hey, Freddie," Jules greeted, sliding into the chair across from her.

I sat down next to him. "Do you know who we're racing tomorrow?"

"Uh, yeah," Freddie said, thinking for a second. "Starlight, Wonderland, and, um..." She trailed off and rifled through a stack of papers sitting next to her. "Crystal Queens. Huh, that's odd. I've never heard of them."

I felt my face break into a grin. "I have." It was a long long time ago, but I had definitely heard the name Crystal Queens.

"You're smiling," Jules noted. "What's so special about this team?"

"The leader's an old friend," I explained, practically bouncing up and down in my seat.

Freddie raised her eyebrow. "I didn't think you had any old friends."

"Harsh, Freddie, real harsh. I do have the ability to make friends, you know," I said sarcastically.

Jules laughed. "That's debatable."

I elbowed his side, but that only made him laugh harder. I found myself a tiny bit transfixed but his laughter. It was a pleasing sound to me. He definitely had a good laugh. I felt myself blushing from thinking about all this. Jules was strangely adorable to me. Everything about him made me want to throw my arms around him and kiss him. I wanted him to feel loved, and I wanted to be the one loving him. The fact that he seemed to be okay with my affection made me outrageously happy. I couldn't shake the stupid grin from my face.

"You certainly look happy," Jules commented, startling me out of my thoughts.

"I..." I faltered. "I am happy." I realized that, for the first time in a long time, that was true.

"That's good," Jules said. I saw his hand twitch towards me, like he wanted to touch me in some way, but he stopped himself.

Freddie had a soft smile playing across her lips. "I haven't seen you smile like that in a really long time."

I shrugged. "It's a good day."

"Well, I'm glad," Freddie chuckled, reopening her book.

"So, what're we doing now?" Jules inquired. "We've fixed up the car, and you've been working on your toys for hours."

All I want to do is hug and kiss you for the rest of the day. You won't let me do that though, and I obviously can't say that in front of Freddie. Maybe we can cuddle for a little bit. You like that, I know. I want to be able to show my love for you, which is weird because I haven't wanted to love anyone since Floyd. I really like you better though, I think, even if you're not quite comfortable with me. You do like my hugs though. My lovesick thoughts obviously didn't match my usual mood. I supposed that was what happened when people fell...fell in love. That wasn't supposed to happen, simply because Jules was a he rather than a she, but I think it had already been established that my emotions didn't work quite right. Jules's didn't quite either though, so I think it was okay.