Gears and Steam

I Don't Understand

Theo

I didn't understand how someone like Julain Vincent could made Edmund so happy. I didn't understand why Freddie and I couldn't make Edmund smile like Jules could. Freddie and I had never hurt him. Sure, I had pissed him off a few times, but that was all just teasing. So why did Jules still make him happy?

I didn't understand any of this until I heard Jules comforting Edmund. It looked like sometime had snapped in Edmund, making him tremble and freak out in general. It was hard to hear them, they were on the platform and I was already on the trolley, but I dimly heard Edmund call himself unloveable.

I flinched when I saw Jules kiss Edmund strongly. Luckily, it seemed that I was the only one that saw. I averted my gaze but continued to listen, making sure Jules didn't say anything wrong. For all I knew, Jules would try to tear Edmund down further.

"Never say that about yourself. You're wonderful and I'm the one that doesn't deserve you, not the other way around! I love you, I can't even express how much. I'm here for you as long as you'll have me." Jules held Edmund close to him as he talked.

I turned my attention elsewhere after that. It was wrong to eavesdrop. I couldn't believe how sincere Jules had sounded. Was that why Jules was so special? He was brave enough to dig past Edmund's defences. I had never tried that. I always figured it was better to let Edmund be. He yelled at me to go away when he was upset, I figured it was best to obey him. Jules had been the first one not to listen to that. That was how Jules managed to get so close. Edmund had always needed someone to comfort him, he just didn't want to admit it. How had I been so stupid? No wonder Jules had gotten so close, he was the only one who dared. He was the only one that saw past the rough edges, he had told me that on his first day.

Edmund and Jules slowly made their way over to the trolley, sitting down on the bench opposite to me. Edmund had a soft smile on his face, though his eyes were red rimmed from crying. He held Jules's hand in his as if afraid to let him go. Maybe Jules wasn't so horrible. Maybe he had just made a mistake.

"I'm tired," Edmund yawned, leaning his head against Jules's shoulder.

Jules removed his hand from Edmund's and rubbed his shoulder affectionately instead. "It's been a rough day. I'll make sure you get home then return to mine."

Edmund frowned. "Aren't you staying with us?"

"Just because you have sorta forgiven me doesn't mean everyone has," Jules reminded him, glancing at me. "I have my own place though, I just haven't been there in months. Uh, I should probably get my stuff from the house though."

Edmund nodded sadly, closing his eyes and leaning all of his weight on Jules. It occurred to me that not having Jules around might make Edmun sad. After everything, Jules still knew how to make Edmund happy. If he wasn't around as much...he couldn't do that.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "You can come back, just don't annoy me."

Jules's grin spread from ear to ear. "Really?'

"Yeah," I grumbled. "Just know that I won't like it. I'm only doing this to make Edmund happy."

"Theo, I officially won't throw a tool at you for a week." Edmund's smile was worth putting up with Jules.

"Gee, thanks," I muttered. "We still have to ask Freddie."

Edmund nodded. "We can convince her. She's in a good mood anyway, since we won."

Jules laughed and hugged Edmund, pressing his face into his curls. I had to admit, though their relationship was strange, they were rather cute. They would be a good couple if one of them was a girl. Heck, they were a good couple now. It was clear that they loved each other now that they weren't hiding it as much. I could forgive Jules...maybe, but only if he kept Edmund happy.