Bottom Of My Heart

15. Faces

In a land so distant, far away

I hear you talking, something you say

I smile, you smile; the deal is signed

But my mind had already wandered away

That face looked familiar

One which I tried to forget

So I tried to keep my head low

A faint smile played along my lips

For that face, I'd seen

In ages and ages it seemed

For a faint millisecond

I smelt the whiff of his scent

And I knew who it was

Before unknowingly by my side he passed

And I saw that damned smile again

And sworn I had to forget, came back crashing that name

Never before I'd wanted so bad

To head home and crash down to the floor

To hit the walls and cry out loud

To stuff my fists up my mouth

I still remember those days

Which barely I could forget

How I got through them all alone

I could never get them off of my head

Depressed I had been, till the sole of my being

Used to stuff my wrist up my mouth so as to not scream

How could none of them see through it

The fake happiness, the smiles, couldn't be seen by anybody?

I'd cry, I'd yelp, I'd shout, and I'd shriek

In all of my angst, I'd bite against my own cheek

But I'd smile my smile, and look at the mirror

I'd laugh at my reflection, and wipe away the smear

So what if there was no one to hold me

To look me in the eye and hug me tight

To tell me its okay and never let me go

I had myself and me, to get myself up from the lows

So no, I won't go home crying again

Nor would I crash down to the floor

And that smile, I'd plaster it on

But now, it won't be fake at all

I had a past, alright, dreaded ugly dark and deep

But for that I'm no more going to weep

The one who should be bothered, is the one who got lost in the crowd

His are the sighs I'm here to take, from the depths of his sweetest sleep