THE DAY BEFORE THE FUTURE BEGINS (BBC SHERLOCK RESUMPTION)

A Little Domestic

<<I'm not avoiding the topic, you do. Sooner or later we'll just have to talk about us...>>, John read out loud whispering.
He stood some steps back until he starts to think loud.
<<Three dots. Three goddamn dots. What does he think? How can I avoiding the topic if there is no reason to avoiding the topic?>>,
<<There is a reason, John.>>, John heard his inner self saying.
John agreed his inner self and sat down at the edge of Sherlock's side of the bed.
<<Well, Sherlock.>>, he started preparing his speech to his friend, <<The thing is... You know that I've suffered a long, long time. I had to struggle with many things, at least the death of my best friend followed by the death of my wife. And, I know this is not an excuse. Not even for one single thing I've done.>>, the doctor said.
<<But I want you to know that that I've touch you last night.. It wasn't because I wanted to touch you. It just was because I was overwhelmed by my thoughts about the past. About my lost love. You know I really loved her.>>, he lied, <<But for the record I like you too. You know. You're my best friend and... Well...>>
Suddenly he heard a noise came from the cupboard.
<<Well, the touch just happened because I felt lonely, I just missed Mary and I just fulfilled the time with you instead of Mary, so maybe it's not even a "like".>>, he continued his lie fast.
<<Well and we both know that's not quite true, John.>>, Sherlock said leaving the cupboard and stayed right in front of him.
John stood up.
<<I know you've suffered, and I know that you have had some tragic losses. And I also know that you haven't done this last night because of missing Mary.>>, Sherlock said trying to stay calm.
<<I DID NOT TOUCH YOU BECAUSE I WANTED IT.>>, John yelled completely done with is feelings.
<<I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE LYING TO ME!!!>>, the detective said disappointed and annoyed and got on the bed to walk around on it.
<<STOP LYING I KNOW ALL WHAT YOU'VE SAID ISN'T TRUE!>>, Sherlock continued.
<<WHAT IS NOT TRUE? THAT I CAN GET OVERWHELMED WITH MY THOUGHTS ABOUT MY LOSS? ALMOST TWO LOSSES? AND I SIMPLY NEEDED A "HAND OF SUPPORT"?>>, the doctor asked overwhelmed of his feelings again and followed the detective onto the bed.
<<BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU HUG ME?>>, Sherlock asked confused with a little sadness in his voice.
<<YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY WET, THAT WAS NOT PLEASANT>>, John changed the topic to the accident in the park.
<<THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!>>, Sherlock answered,
<<WHAT? WHAT DID YOU MEAN?>>, John asked frantic.
<<I MEAN, IF YOU WOULD REALLY NEED THIS "HAND OF SUPPORT" WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER ASK FOR IT? WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT YOU NEED JUST A HUG OR JUST SOMEONE WHO'S THERE FOR YOU?!>>, the detective asked and was really nearly to just to cry.
<<BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THERE!>>, John replied.
<<OH, SO THIS IS A PROBLEM FOR YOU, ISN'T IT?>>, Sherlock started to provocate his friend to finally hear some more honest words, <<THEN WASN'T IT A "HAND OF SUPPORT" AT THE LAKE? WASN'T IT A "HUG OF SUPPORT" WHEN YOU WERE DOWN? WASN'T IT ME WHO WAS THERE? AND WASN'T THIS GOOD ENOUGH?>>
<<WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT? YOU KNOW THIS ISN'T TRUE!>>, John replied.
<<SAME AS YOU DO.>>, he answered quickly.
<<I know.>>, John whispered.
<<As I said, I know you've suffered a long time, I know you were down on your knees and I know this wasn't and still isn't easy for you. But I also know you haven't done this just because you wanted to fulfill the hole Mary left in your heart.>>, Sherlock said quiet calmly.
<<SHERLOCK, STOP!>>, John yelled as loud as Mrs Hudson could hear it, <<I SIMPLY LIKE YOU!>>
<<Oh... >> the detective said making a pause, <<So you like me?>>, he whispered softly.
<<A bit.>>, John answered shyly.
<<No you don't.>>, Sherlock whispered, <<I asked you for being honest to me.>>
<<I know...>>, John answered more and more shyly.
<<And I know it's more than "a bit".>>, the detective said smiled a little bit.
John nodded nondescript.
<<You're right... In fact, you're right.>>, John whispered looking straight in Sherlock's eyes. <<But please stop it.>>, the former soldier asked.
<<I can't.>>, the detective mumbled.
<<What? Why?>>, John asked confused.
<<Because I don't want to.>>, the detective answered honest.
<<Why?>>, John asked confused.
<<Because I don't want to just speculate any longer.>>, he said quietly, <<I want to know what we are.>>, he whispered.
<<The thing is... I can't tell you.>>, John admitted.
<<The thing is. I can.>>, Sherlock whispered, <<But if I would tell you what I have deduced the last weeks, since we were sharing a room, you wouldn't be honest to me.>>
<<What? What do you mean? What are you talking about?>>, John asked.
<<Us. I'm talking about you and me. And, John, you know we both aren't good at such things like this. And you know this is against everything I've lived by before, but it is what it is.>>, the detective made a long pause, <<Obviously I can't explain it either.>>
<<Can you just stop talking?>>, John asked, <<Please.>>
<<Or what?>>, Sherlock asked, <<I won't because I want you to answer my question honestly and I want to know...>>
John took a deep breath, his hands started to shake but he tried to face that weird feeling.
<<Or I'll loose the fight with my inner self and just stop...>>, tge doctor said as fast as he could and looked down on his feet.
As John expected it, he was interrupted by Sherlock.
<<... just stop being stupid and stop thinking about what you could say about this and finally just to kiss you.>>, Sherlock continued the sentence.
John looked up into his eyes. He felt very nervous at the moment but still tried to stand this feeling.
<<Just to kiss you.>>, the former soldier replied softly.
The doctor's Hands started to shake harder and also the detective's body seemed to tremble very much.
Sherlock had an unexpected feeling which let him sweat.
Maybe he was afraid, maybe just nervous, both or he just didn't know how to deal with this situation. The normally coordinated detective, who tried to keep everything under control, suddenly seemed overwhelmed by his own feelings and so John.
Only a few seconds passed after John's last sentence and the weird atmosphere suddenly overcame him and he repeated his sentence: <<Just to kiss you, Sherlock Holmes.>>
This took Sherlock back in the situation but overpowered him again.
Both men were confused and didn't know what to do and how to deal with it that Sherlock got annoyed of this terrible feeling in his body so that he went one step closer to John.
<<Make it stop, please.>>, he whispered talking about the terrible feeling.
As soon as he had done this his body shoke as much as an earthquake but he still tried to stand it and lay his hands on the Doctor's shoulders.
<<Just to kiss you?>>, Sherlock asked whispering and smiled softly.
John nodded shyly and pulled the detective closer so that there were only a few inches between them.
He could feel the detective's breath on his lips.
Sherlock's hands moved to John's cheeks, he felt brave enough.
The tsunami after the earthquake came and brought a lot of courage with it and finally let Sherlock put his lips on the former soldier's.
Suddenly the strange feeling disappeared and the men concentrated on their kiss.
John closed his eyes and moved his lips against the detective's and both fell into a deep kiss.
A kiss full of emotions which both of them displaced the last weeks, months, years.
After their final kiss they could see what the flood wave of hidden emotions did and they saw the weirdness it left which growth very fast and both stared shyly on their feed.
They still didn't know how to deal with this and just gradually descended and layed down on the bed.
John turned off the light and started at the wall. He felt very weird not even happy or something, just weird. He never had have expected that Sherlock would ever do this and finally he felt very embarrassed about the situation, just because he didn't say anything and just turned the light off and hoped that this would help in any way. Obviously it doesn't.
He felt too shy to switch the light on again to talk to Sherlock, even though he wanted it.
Suddenly Sherlock turned the light on and seemed like to search anything.
<<Did you hear it?>>, he asked, <<The mosquito.>>
<<It seemed to me like it flew into that direction.>>, John pointed at the wall at the oppositeof the bed.
Sherlock jumped out of the bed and headed to the wall.
<<Yeah, it's here!>>, he confirmed and made an effort to kill it but he missed.
<<Unsuccessful.>>, Sherlock said, <<Help me to look for it! It flew to the bed side.>>
<<Look! It's right above the bed.>>, the former soldier said standing up on the bed.
<<Let me have one more try!>>, Sherlock asked standing up on the bed too.
<<No, please let this done by a sniper.>>, John told him, smirking and looking at the mosquito.
<<Are you sure the sniper can reach the ceiling?>>, Sherlock asked John, giggling and looking at him.
<<Very funny, Sherl...>>, John probably wanted to say "Sherlock" but when he turned his head to look at Sherlock, while both men were standing on the bed, John felt something that interrupted him and couldn't allow him to speak again.
<<Mmmm, it's "Sherl" now.>>, the detective noticed and smirked a bit. Sherlock was looking straight into John's eyes.
John was filled with a majestic night atmosphere. A dim light darkly lighted Sherlock's cheekbones and the fluffy curls.
<<Sherl... ock, have you ever had a feeling when you're looking at somebody and you urge to... Ah nevermind. I think you haven't...>>, John was too shy to continue his speech, though the atmosphere couldn't let him not to start this topic at least, so he did. <<Okay, you can kill it if you want.>>, John said.
<<I can kill the mosquito indeed,>> Sherlock replied and killed it with one easy try, <<but I can't kill the feeling you were talking about...>>, Sherlock said with his softest voice.
<<John?>>, he asked.
<<Mh.>>, John answered shyly.
<<I asked you for letting it stop. The feeling. But now I have this terrible strange feeling that it won't stop. And it feels like it shouldn't stop.>>, he said thoughtfully.
<<Hm, maybe you're right.>>, John replied.
Sherlock knew what could let the feeling disappear for a few seconds and kissed the former soldier again.
Surprisingly John didn't move back, he stayed and kissed him back.
<<I don't have any words for an explanation, Sherl, but let this be like it is. It feels good.>>, John whispered and smiled kind of happy, Sherlock thought.
The detective nodded and gave him a short kiss until he let himself fall on the bed.
John laughed and did the same.
Since this very moment, both men started to care so much about every their action, they knew that something they did before wouldn't be a "normal" thing and could be interpreted in a romantic way.
Because of a warm night John felt hot, <<Sherlock?>>, he asked shyly, <<Is it ok if I take my pyjama shirt off? Because it's too hot here.>>
<<Then it'd be much hotter for me..>>, Sherlock told him, smirking.
<<Oh okay, I mean I guess it's not ok for you then.>>, John said avoiding answering to such a compliment.
<<Your guess is not right.>>, the young detective told him, rising himself and laying like this on his side. <<Deduce it.>>, Sherlock said smirking a bit and slowly reaching John for one more kiss.
John kissed him back.
While kissing, Sherlock unbuttoned the first button of the soldier's shirt.
John stopped kissing, <<Sherl... ock that's wrong, we shouldn't...>>, the soldier said in panic.
<<Are you the one who follows the rules?>>, Sherlock asked the master in building cupboards without any instructions and unbuttoned the second button, <<Relax, it was just a clue for you that it's ok>>, he added. He sat down on an edge of the bed and taking his pyjama shirt off too.
After that, both men were shirtless they layed back on the bed and John covered himself with a blanket, but Sherlock didn't.
<<Did you take your shirt off because of warmth in order to cover yourself with a blanket?>>, the detective asked John about his strangely shy behavior.
<<Ok, thank you, Mr Detective, for letting me not to. But Mrs Shyness doesn't let me do this.>>, the former soldier answered, turning away from Sherlock.
<<"Mr Detective"...>>, Sherlock repeated, <<To be honest, I liked "Sherl" more.>>, he said softly and giggled and pulled off the blanket from John.
After that, Sherlock immediately turned away in order to not make John shy again.
<<Look, I turned away. You don't have to be shy anymore.>>, the detective stated.
<<Thank you.>>, John whispered softly and laughed.
Sherlock thought about saying his thought about being shirtless before out loud but decided to not to do this because he didn't want to make John more shy.
And they both fell asleep.