DEANNA'S POV
It's been one week since bumalik ako ng Manila, pagbalik ko training agad ang inatupag ko bago na kasi ang coach and nadagdagan na rin ang team dahil sa pag dating ng mga rookies, nakakapanibago ang sistema ni coach O, kung si coach Tai mas tutok sa spiking and blocking si coach O naman is more particular on making plays kaya naging favorite ako ni coach O, favorite pagalitan
Coach Tai is not vocal pero pamatay ang training but kay coach O wala na akong masabi he's really vocal and perfectionist lahat dapat swak at tama, which is really hard to accomplish hindi sya titigil hanggang hindi sya nakokontento sa mga galaw namin inside the court
"Deans where are you going na naman ba?" tanong ni ate Mads ng papalabas na ako ng dorm
"it's Friday naman ate Mads so sa condo ko na ako matutulog" sagot ko dito
"wag ako Deanna mag-iinom ka na naman, gabi-gabi ka na lang ganyan ah masyado ka ng abusado sa katawan mo iinom sa gabi tapos mag t-training sa umaga pag yan nalaman ni coach ewan ko na lang talaga"
hayssss again and again kahit saan na lang talaga, mapa Cebu, Manila and court laging ako na lang ang napapansin nakakarindi na rin mga talak nila sa akin
"sige na ate Mads I'll go na wala namang training bukas" sabi ko na lang sabay labas para wala na syang masabi
I plan na magpaka lasing tonight wala naman din kasing training bukas that's why I decided na dito na lang ako sa condo ko iinom para di na hassle pag nalasing ako I have stock ng beer and chips kaya wala ng problema.
Every night ako umiinom but kapag may training kinabukasan sa bar ako nag-iinom and when I feel dizzy na I'll drive to dorm na and sneak in pag wala ang guard sa post nya
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*lights off *
*stereo on, playing random songs of LANY*
Alone again in the living room letting the loneliness swallow me
reminiscing the past
drowning myself again with alcohol
Wondering how did I manage to live my life with this pain inside me
Asking what the hell happened to my happy life
Realizing how routinize my every day is and
How I able to survive every training and everyday without the passion anymore
I suck, I feel so weak.... Weak to keep our relationship, so weak to still hold on because I'm afraid to let go, and so weak because I'm still mourning while she's happy. I'm so weak that I want to be freed by this pain but at the same time I still want to be in pain to remind me that I loved her and I still love her...
"I love you so much Samantha"
Ring.......
Ring.......
Ring.......
Ring.......
Aish ang sakit ng ulo ko
Ring......
As soon as I got my consciousness I immediately answer my phone
" who's this?" I said still eyes closed na nakadapa sa couch, tsk dito na pala ako nakatulog kagabi
"thank god you answer, for godsake Deanna kanina pa kami tawag ng tawag sayo pumunta ka dito sa BEG kanina pa galit si coach sayo!!!" sagot ni ate Maddie sa kabilang linya
