safety pin

Chapter 24

"You cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people you choose to be around."

-

"...all we have is the connections that we make."

A quote that kept echoing in my head ever since I heard it in a TV show.

Connections...makes you stop and think.

There are different types of connections you can find in this world, with these connections you somehow, in a strange twisted way, feel less alone. Whether it's an emotional connection or a physical one, every type leaves different trace in your life.

Although it's totally up to fate, it's possible that one can find all these connections in one person your soul chooses and decide that this is it, this is what I crave the most and nothing else.

Their smile is the one that gets portrayed to be hung on a wall, like your biggest achievements. Their laugh gets played on repeat, as if it became your favorite symphony. Something as simple as a small touch...can make you feel magnificent feelings, like the whole world around you disappear. You become addicted, all you want to do is to go back to that safe happy feeling you created in the hands of your significant other, the one you chose to be your forever whole.

But what if you started to feel them for someone else?

"Jade?" Steve's voice snapped me out of my train of thoughts.

"Y-yeah?" I said, recovering from the daydreaming state I was in. My eyes snapped in Steve's direction as he his eyes were dug into me with pursed lips; his shirt was half unbuttoned and his hair was a bit messy.

I guess I haven't realized that we've been in my office for quite this long to make him look like he's hungover or something. He still managed to look good tired though. He was holding a cup of coffee in his hand, giving himself a little break, I assume. How long was I zoned out? And How long was he staring me like that?

"You're doing it again." He stated, not even showing any annoyance, just pure concern. I looked at my laptop screen again, and changed the tap that I was writing in seconds ago to the one we were supposed to be working on.

"No, I didn't." I confidently replied while looking at my finished assignment. He stood up from his chair, and went to stand right next to me to find that I did finish the part we were working on. We were going for hours over the same stuff we went over a while ago with the first book we translated together, he should've known by now that I don't need to be tiptoed.

Our project plan goes like this: each group now knows the part they're assigned to so they group once or twice a week until a few days before the deadline, we all gather once again and review the final result.

"That's...actually impressive." I couldn't help but analyze every single detail about his focused face expression, and watched closely as his eyes wandered the translated lines in front of him. I didn't realize how close he was to be able to read from the screen until his arm that rested on my chair touched my right arm. It felt strange on realizing this my heart started to pound as if I never was this close to Steve before. Like I'm experiencing this closeness for the first time.

"I know." I replied, trying to get back the same confident I had a few seconds before.

"So what was it that you were so focused on just now?" His eyes darted away from the screen back at me with crocked head and narrowed eyes.

"You mean that thing I was writing? Pshh, it's nothing." I don't usually want people snooping their nose in the stuff I write; it makes me feel like my thoughts are being exposed. However, I started trying to make some changes about that matter ever since I made Daniel read my book. Whenever it's relevant I show some random stuff to Steve, and so far he's been a big support to me. Sometimes I still feel like there's stuff I can't expose them that easily.