🌻Shy Love | J.JK ✓

↬❥#30࿐

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The day was partly cloudy but with just the right amount of sunlight going through the clouds.

Jungkook squeezed my hand as all of us watched grandma's coffin go down to the hole. The workers started to put dirt over it making the only noise at the cemetery.

Everyone was silent, suffering in their own way.

The last time I was here, I was not with these many people...

I didn't want to come here again, but here I am.

This is a unique occasion in which literally everyone in my family is here... not only my parents. I'm sure we will never reunite again as nothing is holding us together, not even the blood ties that we all prefer to forget about.

I sometimes wonder when everything went so wrong for this to happen. Grandma was not the one keeping us together but the only reason why all of us reunited... for once, forgetting about all the hate and drama between us.

It is painful to see my uncle... the one that leaves in a state far away from us. He made my mom suffer a lot just two years ago; he is also the responsible for the family breaking more than it already was by his selfish actions... yet, here he is, standing alone a bit far from the rest as most of us here have resentment towards here. 

He became arrogant and started to step over everyone in the family in order to succeed not caring at all. Mom tried to make him realize what he was doing but he wouldn't listen. 

I know these emotions... 'resent' is one of the worst along with 'hate' but sometimes humans can't help it. I still remember all those weeks mom wouldn't cry to not make me worried... in those times, I learned that it was best to go outside to play with Sunmi, Danielle, and Alex at the park to let her be alone and be able to cry.

I sigh. Sunmi and Alex... Danielle... why am I thinking about them right now?

I got a bit startled as I hear the big block of concrete fall over her grave to seal it.

I'm not crying like other of my cousins as they got to spend more time with her. I'm just... sad.

I look around making sure to memorize this moment. After this, all of us will part ways. I wonder what is next for everyone here... where are we going to be in a decade?

I'm not sure if I will know.

I walk with mom to put some flowers over her fresh grave. I let the white rose fall off my hand at the same time as many.

After this, we will take family photos before anyone leaves. I see the photographer already getting into position.

I take a deep breath as I walk out of the scene as right now, only my mom and my uncles will be in the pictures, later on, all the grandchildren and everyone else in the family will join.

I walk to Koo's arms. His warmth engulfed me right away, making me feel at home.

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After about an hour of fooling around with the photos, everyone started to leave.

"Let's go, Yun," my mom murmured.

I looked at the other side of the cemetery. "C-can I go somewhere else first...? it'll be quick."

Mom followed the direction of my gaze. "Okay. We will wait in the car."

I took a deep breath as my parents started to walk away. Koo looked at me confused.

I held his hand as I started to walk to the other side. My breath hitched as I didn't feel ready, but it was time...

I need to let her go.

If I didn't cry before, I was definitely crying now that I was in front of her grave.

Alex Hilton.

2003-2019

May your soul finally rest in peace.

Koo wrapped his arms around me as I cried... hard. As soon as he started to caress my head, I calm down. I whipped the tears off my eyes before I turned to look at her grave.

I looked at the bracelet I have been wearing this entire time. It is made out of colorful rocks in triangular shapes...

Alex and I bought them as 'friendship bracelets' a long time ago at a store by the beach. We were about eleven... we promised each other to not take them off... unless our friendship broke.

After she died, I refused to take it off as I didn't want to accept that she was gone. The worse part for me is that she had died with hers on...

But even if I hate it, she's gone and she won't come back.

I squat down. I slowly take the bracelet off with shaky hands. I hold my breath as the bracelet leaves my wrist. I close my eyes for a couple of seconds before I put the bracelet on her grave... finally letting her go.

I hope she's happy... wherever she is. That is the only thing I want for my best friend, sister from different parents, and my partner in crime.

I hold Jungkook's hand as we walk towards the car.

I smile softly as my pain is going away. That life I used to have is gone... Alex is gone, Sunmi has changed and Danielle has a little one to take care of now. JB has finally stopped to hunt me down in my mind as he's not worth it.

I wrap my arms around Koo... my new partner in life.

One of my hands go to my neck, I softly grip the necklace he made for me... the one he gifted me on Valentine's Day.

It is very special for me from the moment he gave it to me. I smile as I know that he took the time to make it...

"Hey, Koo..." I say as we walk.

He hums.

"Where do you think we will be in the future?"

He chuckled. "I don't know Yun, but as long as you are somewhere with me, I'm not worried."