| A spark of hope | Hagakureon(Discontinued)

|Chapter 6| 2/2

TRIGGER WARNING MENTIONS OF ABUSE AND MANIPULATION

Leon Kuwata

...mom always wanted a little girl. She never said anything about it to my face..but I could always hear her ranting to her mom or sisters about how she wished I was a girl.

But eventually it became more than just a wish..she tried to make it happen. She made me dress up in more feminine clothing she tried making me grow my hair out to at least shoulder length. And everytime I refused she would go on a tangent about how I was being disobedient and that I was the one making her life a living hell.

This would go on for hours and hours at a time until I eventually agreed. I learned just agreeing with anything she said was the best option at the time because...there really wasn't really anything else I could do.

She really only made me do this when we were in public or home alone. At the time I thought every mom did this to their son and made them dress and act a certain way. But everyone just thought my mom was crazy and I actually defended her for a while.

She would always make me feel awful if I didn't want to do what she wanted. She was alot louder than dad and often shouted which she knew scared me. Which ended up working in her favor. Just yell for a bit and I would be snapped right back into place.

As I got older and realized that this wasn't normal I resorted to hiding. Any small cabinet, cupboard or crawlspace I could squeeze into was ideal although it stunted my growth like majorly. It became a habit even outside of home mainly at school. If the class got to loud or the teacher raised their voice out of frustration that would send me into a panic.

I would hide in the cupboard under the sink in the bathroom or on one of the shelves in the closet even under my desk sometimes.

I got picked on relentlessly for this. People would lock me in the closet or would bang on the doors to scare me.

I was basically alone for most of my school years...until I met him...Chihiro  Fujisaki. His situation was similar to mine. He felt the need to dress like a girl because of his appearance and was bullied for it. And we found comfort in eachother. And we've been best friends ever since

He of course showed up a couple hours after hagakure and was very worried. So was I
.
.
.
.
.
Having to tell everyone the disgusting things my father had done. It made me feel gross and weak because I let it happen. Why didn't you fight back or at least scream. I beat myself up over it while my friends were trying to convince me I wasn't the one in the wrong.

That was probably the worst breakdown I had in my life. But thank God...I'm not alone this time. Maybe I could get through this...maybe I could feel happy again
.
.
.
.
.
Boy was I wrong...