A Host In Love

The twins fake fight

(Kh) which one of us is Hikaru, and which one is Kaoru? Can you tell? Let's play the "Which one is Hikaru-kun?" game!

(Hh) Now then, can you tell which one of us is Hikaru?

(G1) Oh, this is hard. They look too much alike.

(Kh) There's never been a girl who could really tell us apart before.

(H) What a ridiculous game

(Kh) Huh? Something you don't like about it?

(H) It's not just that I can't figure out why you two are so popular.

(Kh) Apparently, Haruhi doesn't understand the merits of having twins in the Host Club.

(Hh) Listen here. Just having a couple of good-looking homosexuals earns plenty of high points. And making a show of teetering between that and friendship is also desirable.

(Kh) But in our case, being twins, we get to use this most forbidden of taboos as a weapon. On top of that, there's the scenario of having two people, who have such deep ties to each other, loving you at the same time. It's the ultimate young woman's romance, right? Er I I can't bear any more!

(T) Hikaru! Kaoru! I let you have control of the club's homepage on the condition that you would take it seriously!

(Kh) And we are taking it seriously. We were up until dawn last night working on it. And this is the screen that you made?!

(Ho) Haru-chan, you look great!

(T) When?! When did you take nude photos of Haruhi?! "Yes, that's the pose. That's a nice expression. Once we're done here, we'll let you have all the fancy tuna you want "that you wantthat you want"

(H) Is that what you did?!

(Hh) You're intensely delusional. It's a composite photo, of course. Composite? We did a good job, didn't we? Magnificent skill, if I do say so myself.

(T) You idiots! Have some shame! But if you are going to do it, composite her with this idol photo collection.

(Kh) That would be silly, sir. It would be quicker to ask her directly to wear that stuff. Y-Yeah, I could ask her.

(T) What do you think about this? Why do you have that?

(Ho) Haruhi-kun looks fantastic! Still, like Tamaki-sama says, I'd sure like to see Haruhi-kun dressed in women's clothes. Haruhi-kun is so cute, I'm sure they would look good on her.

(H) Would you stop compositing pictures of me without my permission?
 
(K) Tamaki good morning *enters club room*

(T) Good morning.

- three days later-

(Hh) in the morning, for some reason, my legs had become as heavy as lead!

(Kh) That's because the day before, you had that marathon, right?

(T) Hikaru, Kaoru, how could you?! You don't know the true terror of black magic!

(Kh) Ah, I'm bored. Isn't there anything fun we can do? My dignity as president is being ignored

(Hh) Say, Haruhi, we have a favor to ask. What is it? The next day off we get can we come over to your place?

(H) Why would you?

(Kh) Because we're awfully interested in it.

(Hh) No way. None at all? No way. You'll just make fun of me. --No matter how much we ask? --No way. I've also long been thinking that I should pay my respects to Haruhi's family.

(Kh) No way in hell.

(Hh) Then, let's do it this way. If you miss in the "Which one is Hikaru-kun game," then as a penalty, we get to come over to your house.

(Kh) Okay, which one of us is Hikaru-kun?

(G1) You're Kaoru, and you're Hikaru.

(Hh) Bzzzt! You got it wrong!

(H) No I didn't. You do look very similar, but you are different.

(Ho) Say, Haruhi-kun, once they cover whether they part their hair on the left or the right, the difference between Hikaru-kun and Kaoru-kun becomes completely indistinguishable.

(G2) How can you tell them apart?

(Kh) Hikaru, I'm the one who's always going along, playing your selfish games, right?

(Hh) I may be the one to suggest them, but you're the one who gets into them, Kaoru. If you don't like them, then just stop. What are you, stupid?

(Kh) You're too stupid to see it for yourself, Hikaru. Like how, even as you were calling her a toy, you were so quick to make some sort of pass at her. Hikaru, you really are in love with Haruhi, aren't you? Huh?!

(T) What?! H-Hey, you've got it all wrong! You really are an idiot, Kaoru!

(Kh) For one thing, how is it that I would fall for that little tanuki?[Tanuki: a shape-shifting raccoon dog.]

(T) What do you mean by calling Haruhi a little tanuki?!

(Hh) Fantastic. This is fantastic. A beautiful, yet poignant four-sided relationship around Haruhi-kun.

(Kh) Enough already! You're always getting into my bed! You're such a pest! That's because you seem so lonely, Hikaru.

(Hh) I had no choice but to sleep next to you, you idiot!

(Kh) Who are you calling an idiot?! You're doing worse in a number of classes! Look who's talking! Hikaru, maybe you should study linguistics more! You grind your teeth too loud!

(Hh) Who is it that tosses in their sleep and falls out of bed?! .

(H) *punches hikaru and kaoru* Enough already! You don't go bringing something like this into a simple quarrel! You both are to blame for this fight, but you're even more to blame for bothering everyone around you with it! Now say you're sorry! If you don't make up right now, then I'll never let you come over, as long as I live!

(Hh) Then, if we do make up, Haruhi, we can come over to your house, right? I'm sorry, Kaoru. Even though I was just following our script, I'm not fit to be your brother, to say such awful things to you.

(Kh) Not at all. I'm the one who was terribly worried about what I would do if I hurt you,

(T) you were faking the fight?!

(H) what did I get myself into

- monday -

(T) The Host Club is now open for business

(Hh) let's play the "Which one is Hikaru-kun?" game!

(G1) Um, the one with the pink hair is Hikaru-kun.

(Kh) We have a winner!

(H) You may have made up, but your hair will still stay that way for a while, huh? Still, I'm glad it's easier to tell now.

(Hh) No it isn't.

(H) Today, the pink one is Kaoru, and the blue one is Hikaru. You've switched your color's.

(K) interesting only haruhi can tell these two apart

(Kh) huh? Have you noticed, Hikaru? Up until now, there were only two worlds: "us" and "everyone else.