BESIDE YOU

Chapter 6

HAYDON

It's been a week since I met Laura and I had forgotten all about going out with her until she calls me in the evening.

"Hello", I say picking up the call

"Hey it is Laura"

"Hey Laura, how are you?", I ask

"I'm good. What about you?"

"I'm fine too"

"I called to ask you if you are free tomorrow", she says

"Yeah I'm free"

"So let's meet for dinner"?

" Yeah okay. Where are we going "?, I ask

"You'll see. It is a surprise", she says.

"Okay sure. I'll see you tomorrow "

"Bye Haydon"

"Bye Laura"

As we end the call I feel bad for Laura. I didn't even really like her and she was already planning surprises for me.

What am I doing?

You are giving yourself a chance.

But why? I have screwed up so many times that I do not deserve a chance.

I take a long breath.

I'll give myself one more chance

Just one more

I nod at myself.

I keep thinking of excuses to get out of this date with Laura. Not because she wasn't a nice person, but because she was too good. I didn't want to screw up her life too.

I somehow get myself to sleep. The next morning I wake up and go downstairs for breakfast.

"Good morning Haydon", my mother smiles at me

"Good morning Mum"

"So today is the big date?",she looks excited

I almost groan. This was the last thing I wanted. I didn't want mum to get excited about it because I knew that I was going to mess up. My gut told me that.

"Yeah", I say

"You don't look very enthusiastic", she raises an eyebrow

"It's just that I don't really know Laura. I'm just scared that this is going to end up being awkward", I lie

"Oh honey, you are gonna do all right", she smiles again

"Yeah. I hope so", I say.

I finish my breakfast and go back to my room.

Big date, I think

It is funny how you give yourself big lectures about this being your last chance but you don't seem to care about it.

Of course, I care.

You don't even want this date.

I do

How long will you keep lying to yourself?

Till the lie becomes the truth

I sigh in frustration.

Till the evening I keep out of my mother's way. I didn't want to feed her with any more lies. I try doing everything possible to stop thinking about the date or any other disturbing topic, for the matter of fact.