LOVER; hyunho

❯ sixteen

Minho huffed a gray smoke out his cigarette when Hyunjin held his wrist, stopping him.
❝ What? You said you won't judge me— ❞

❝ You're shaking, I'm not judging you, I'm just worried. ❞
Hyunjin was serious.
❝ I'm fine, Hyunjin. ❞
Minho pulled his hand back, continuing to finish off a cigarette stick.

Though Minho has become a lot sadder each passing day, he's become gentler too, it was mostly push or pull. Occasionally, he would let the younger in, and sometimes, he would push Hyunjin away again. It was clear he was going through something heavy this time around, Hyunjin is meaning to ask what was wrong, but Minho would often be silent about it. It felt quite unfair to Hyunjin, because Minho once told him that no one has to deal with these things alone, but the older never let Hyunjin help him the same way Minho did when he fell into a major slump. 

Even the way he spoke was ice cold, colder than when they first met, limited such as his glances. It wasn't that he wanted Minho to change because of his habits nor his attitude, but he wishes Minho trusted him a little bit more to open up what's bothering him. With each day that passes, the more heartbroken Hyunjin was to be pushed away, to see Minho look so unhappy. 

Minho looked at Hyunjin in the eyes with a slight glare, that sharp gaze still sits with him but slowly it melted into a softer one the more he stared at the younger's dark brown eyes. He sighed to himself, throwing the cigarette to the ground and stepped on it.
Hyunjin smiled, feeling relief on the inside and held out his hand.
❝ And the rest of them? ❞
Minho glared but Hyunjin gave him the puppy eyes.
❝ You can smoke again when you're feeling better. ❞
Hyunjin said and Minho's mouth fell open of shock.
❝ But I need to smoke to help me feel better.❞

The older slapped his forehead and exhaled deeply of defeat, giving Hyunjin the last of his cigarette box. Hyunjin then went ahead and threw it to the nearby trash can.

❝ Exams are coming so don't even think about going to bars and drinking, while you're recovering, just drink water so you'll recover faster, also you should study hyung. ❞
Hyunjin said and they started to walk again.
❝ Hyunjin, I know what you have on your mind. But, no matter what you do, you can't change me. ❞
Minho said, Hyunjin expected him to sound harsh but his voice was surprisingly soft.
❝ Even I have given up on myself. ❞
Minho chuckled, but it left a heavy weight on Hyunjin's chest. He knew he could never leave such impact on Minho's life like how the older did to him. 

They stood on the sidewalks in complete silence, the snow now falling on both of them as they were illuminated by a single streetlight. Hyunjin looked down and pursed his lips, feeling guilty. He looked at Minho again, his eyes full of care and sincerity, admiring how pretty Minho looked in the middle of the falling snow regardless of his now pale skin, red cheeks, and chapped lips. 
❝ I'm sorry, it's your personal life. I shouldn't have— ❞

❝ It's okay. ❞
Minho cut him off.
❝ But please stop looking at me like that. ❞
Minho said with bitterness now creeping up as his voice trailed off.
❝ D-do I look at you differently? I— ❞

❝ Because. ❞
Minho's fists clenched and he gritted his teeth, trying to hold back either tears or resentment that Hyunjin couldn't understand.
❝ He also.... Used to look at me like that too. ❞

❝ You're home, Minho. ❞
Chan's voice greeted Minho as usual upon entering. He threw his shoes aside and closed the door before snow gets in the house. Minho rubbed his hands together and took off his gloves, taking his bag with him as he passed by the living room.
❝ You've been stressed since you started to go back to school. Want to go smoke? ❞
Chan invited him but none of them looked at each other as usual.

Minho just stood there for a moment, holding his school bag and heart still heavy from a while ago.
He tightened his grip on his bag strap and walked his way towards the room.
❝ I'll pass. ❞

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𝙙𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 :  𝟷𝙾𝟷𝟻𝟸𝙾

𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙥𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 : O83123

I've been meaning to update but school started three weeks ago and I didn't expect it to get so busy this early.
I have some time in my hands because the rainstorm is keeping us inside, I really missed writing so I might as well catch up on my ongoing books.

Aside from that, how are you guys doing? Is it also raining where you are?

I'm also curious what other people do when it rains. When school is cancelled, I usually wrap myself in my duvet and watch ghibli on my laptop while having a nice mug of hot chocolate. Sometimes when I'm not in the mood to watch I read books (specifically danmei books, obsessed with them rn xjsjxjsjd) (or I just decorate my teapot in genshin idk)

I hope you guys enjoy this update!

Love,
Sea