It Takes Two (Katy Perry)

Part 19

A/N: Sorry for this emotional chapter! Things will start to become happier from now on... (I think!) Thanks to Kirsty (@KatyIsMyLight_) for volunteering her twitter username for this chapter by being the first to fav my tweet! (My twitter is @lianakarelle if you want to add me by the way!)

22nd February, 2012

Katy awoke the next morning to discover Russell’s arm flung over her bare stomach as he slept. Cringing, she moved it, trying not to wake him up. Slowly, she sat up and pulled her body out of bed, wincing at the pain between her legs. She had still not fully recovered from delivering Ella, and after last night the pain had worsened again. She decided to take a long, hot shower, and as she was creeping around the bed hoping that Russell would stay asleep, she tripped over a pile of clothes and Russell’s shoes on the floor, and swore loudly.

Hearing him stir, she turned around, and his eyes blinked open and found hers. She shivered in disgust as his eyes wandered up and down her still-naked body appreciatively.

“I’m just going to have a shower,” she muttered, looking at the floor. There was no reply from Russell other than a quick nod, and Katy shut the bathroom door quickly behind her. She took her time in the shower, washing her hair and body thoroughly, humming a slow, melancholic melody that was stuck in her head. After almost half an hour, she got out and wrapped herself in a thick, white towel, cursing herself for not taking her clothes into the bathroom with her.

Opening the door of the ensuite slowly, she peered around the door frame into her bedroom, noting with surprise that Russell wasn’t there. Assuming he had gone downstairs already, she got dressed and grabbed her phone, quickly checking for any messages. There was two, one was from Angela.

Angela: I’m coming over later Kate, don’t go out xxx

Katy replied quickly, then checked the other message.

Russell: Just letting you know I left while you were in the shower, I didn’t want to make things awkward by still being here when you got out. Last night was a mistake Katy, I’m so sorry for giving in. You were emotional and not thinking straight, and I took advantage of you. I know you regretted it from the moment we finished, I heard you crying afterwards. Please don’t contact me again, and I won’t contact you. It’s not healthy, we need a clean break from now on. Goodbye, Katy.

Katy sank to the floor as she read Russell’s text, tears appearing in her eyes. She knew Russell was right, she did regret it and it was a big mistake, but seeing the words in front of her brought her to tears.

“Why can’t I ever get anything right?” she cried to herself. “I’m so sick of this!” As she curled up in a ball on the thick carpet of the bedroom floor, sobbing, her fragile mind made a snap decision. Shakily standing up, she walked back into the bathroom, searching in the medicine cabinet below the sink. She pulled out two bottles of pills and read the labels. Pain killers and sleeping tablets. ‘Perfect,’ she thought to herself, sitting on the floor with the bottles in her hand.

Katy had mind up her mind. She was sick of the constant depression she’d been in for two months now, everything kept piling up on her, weighing her down and she couldn’t deal with it anymore. She felt like she was drowning or suffocating. She hadn’t been able to breathe properly for the last month, and she couldn’t stop crying. Katy didn’t want to live like that anymore. If her life wasn’t going to be happy and filled with joy and light and love and success, then she didn’t want to live at all.

With those thoughts in her mind, repeating themselves over and over like a mantra, Katy pulled out her phone, intending to send one last tweet to her KatyCats. She knew they would be heartbroken, but right at that moment, Katy was feeling too low to even care about the aftermath. As she opened twitter and quickly glanced at her mentions, a tweet caught her eye that made her pause for a moment.

@KatyIsMyLight_: @katyperry thank you so much, you literally saved my life, if not for you I wouldn’t be here today. You are my only inspiration in the world and the only reason worth staying for, never forget how loved you are!

Katy, shaking with tears by this point, clicked on the girl’s profile and scrolled through her latest tweets, gasping as she read the tweets directed at her, telling the story of how Katy saved her life.

Trembling, Katy clicked ‘reply’ and began typing.

@katyperry: @KatyIsMyLight_ thank you for always believing in me, I needed to hear that more than anything right now. So much love to you, stay strong beautiful xxx

Going back into her mentions, she scrolled through, reading all of the tweets from her beloved KatyCats, all showering her with love and confidence. Tears steadily flowed down her cheeks as she became overwhelmed with the support from the fans who meant the world to her. As she clutched her phone, she heard hurried footsteps coming nearer, and suddenly Angela burst into the room.

“Kate!” she exclaimed. “I was knocking for like five minutes! Why didn’t you answer the door?”

Katy’s older sister stopped in her tracks, her mouth falling open in horror as she looked from her younger sister, sobbing on the bathroom floor, to the two bottles of pills clutched tightly in her left hand.

“Oh my god, Katy, you didn’t! Tell me you didn’t take those pills!” she cried, bursting into tears.

Katy shook her head. “I was about to,” she whispered, unable to find the energy to lift her head up to look at Angela. “I was honestly going to. But someone stopped me.”

Angela sank to her knees in front of Katy, wiping her tears. “Who?” she asked.

A tiny smile appeared on Katy’s face as she held up her phone. “My KatyCats,” she replied simply. “I realised that there are so many young, fragile people out there who admire me so much, and I am the reason they keep going. If I’m not here, who’s going to keep them going? I have to be here, I’ve got too much responsibility for all those people who love me.”