| LIFE WITHOUT YOU | ✔

«LWY4»

I run to the nurses headquarters so I could hurry and register my name and this week's progress.

I was late.

"Sorry." I say bumping to people. I stop to catch my breath when I entered the room.

"What got you this tired?" I hear Jabir's voice from across the room. My head snaps to his direction.

He leaned on the lockers, chewing on something.

I walk to the register, writing my name and acting like he was not there. "I always hated it when you ignored me. I feel......what is it? Alone?" He stands beside me.

I continue writing, feeling him staring at me. I drop the pen, walking to the door. "I miss you, adda."

He says as I stop. This might seem sad but I still love him and I miss how we were. Adda is a nickname he called me with before.

He walks towards me. "I miss everything and every moment we shared."

I stood, contemplating what to say or do. I want to hug him, try and forget everything.

I won't though.

I attempt to continue walking but he held my arm. "Don't ignore me, its been almost two years. You haven't talked to me. Don't you think that's enough?"

He looks into my eyes. I roll my eyes. "Let me go, Jabir. I have things to do, I'm not in the mood for jokes."

I tug my arm from him. His lips curl up to a smile. "I know you feel the same, I spent a year with you. I know you well enough to know if you're putting up an act."

He holds my arms, caressing it. I scoff, shaking my head. "Yes, I do but I'm not going to waste my time with you. Two years after you divorced me because I can't get pregnant, something I can't control, now you want to come back?"

I narrow my eyes. "I don't want to come back, I was just....".

I nod. "I get it, my bad. Now, can you let me get back to work?"

He releases me. "You'll go back to ignoring me?"

I walk away without replying. I felt stupid for admitting it, I felt stupid for enjoying the little attention and affection he showed me.

I wipe my tears. "Adama, are you okay?" Habiba tries to stop me. "I'm fine, I'll talk to you later."

I run off to my car, shutting the door.

"I don't want to come back, I was just....".

His words replayed over and over again while I drove. Tears unable to stop.

He doesn't regret or feel bad at all. He helped me fool myself.

I pulled up at the parking lot of qahhar's house. I sob, covering my face with my hands. I suddenly hear someone knock on my window. I glance and saw qahhar standing outside.

I hurriedly wiped my tears. I got out of the car, qahhar stepping back a bit. "Good morning." I smile, locking my doors.

"Hope you had a good morning." He says looking at me. "Yeah."

"You sure?" He asks and I nod. "Yeah." I give him a reassuring smile. "Okay, let's go." We walk to the house.

"So I have nothing to do today if not watch, its has been a long time since I watched a movie."

He walks up the stairs, I walk to the sitting room I always enter. "What are you doing? We're watching together."

He says before he continued walking upstairs. I follow him to the parlor.

It is of course beautiful.

"I don't know how the world of movies is right now so you're going to be the one picking for us."

He adjusts the chair and it suddenly became like a bed but still chair like.

"Go ahead."

I keep my bag while he does it to the other chair. "I don't know a lot of movies too."

"Well then, we're screwed."

I chuckle. "Not completely." We sit, picking the movie. "You have all of the channels and more!"

"Yeah, I made preparations." He smiles at me. "So choose." He leans back, placing his head on his arm.

**********

I sob, watching a touching movie. It was relatable to my case, a part of me wishing I solved mine too.

"Why are you crying?" Qahhar asks amused. "It's touching." I wipe my tears with the tissue he handed me.

"She's barren and she had a child in the end. That's what made you cry?" I could see he was on the way to clown me.

"It's not a problem just so you know. It's not their choice, it just happens." I get defensive, unknowingly ruining the vibe.

He keeps quiet, leaning back. I sigh, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry, it's just ......it's a sensitive topic for me."

He looks at me. "That's all I can say." I felt like another wave of tears was going to begin.

"You're going through the same thing?"

I nod. "And my husband left me for it so I feel really useless. It's eating me up internally and I can't help it. I can't do anything about it......I-".

I was cut short when he hugs me, caressing my arm. "Its not your fault, okay? You wouldn't choose that for yourself."

I sob quietly, inhaling his cologne. "Your ex husband is stupid not to know that, he doesn't know what he has lost."

I pull away from his embrace, wiping my face. "I shouldn't have said that, you're a patient not my therapist."

"Then go to your therapist, don't go bottling up feelings that will drag you down." He leans back, picking what he's going to watch.

"You're in my spot." I try to change the mood. "Well, I'm comforted already. Find another spot." He teases me as I chuckle.

"Fine but I'm not giving up this spot when you want to take it." I lie down beside him, he smiles widely.

"Thanks for the advice though."

"Anytime, I have nothing to do so literally, anytime." I laugh, shaking my head.

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