Here. [ st ]

Past

tw: sexual assault & attempted r@pe (not on Rae but still an important warning
if you are a victim, please talk to a trusted adult or being. no one should ever go through something so horrible. but i deeply and truly wish that it'll get better for you. please know that I love you, even if we don't know each other, I still do)

CIRCA 1974 - Hawkin's Park

Jon was at the swings with Little Will and Mommy, I played in the sandbox. Dad was at work, well, what that's what Mommy told us. I smashed my Tonka Truck into the sand castles Jonathan and I made earlier. "Haha." I laugh and grabbed handfuls of the special dirt and piled it. "Mommy!" I called out. She didn't respond, I shrugged and kept on playing.

Two men walk up to me. I look up and they had mean faces but that doesn't mean that they are, right? They spoke to each other, tilted my head since I didn't know what they were saying. Feeling weird, I get up to go find Mommy and Jon. But I feel big hands grab me. Turning, I asked, "Yes, Mr.?" They just smirked at me. The man in a blue shirt yanked me into his arms, I tried to get away. The other put a sack over my head, I couldn't see anything while I screamed for Mom. For Jon. "Be quiet. Eres una hermosura."  ("You're a beauty.") They chuckled.

Suddenly, I wake up in a room and they were sitting by a table across from me. My wrists and ankles were tied. I couldn't speak because of the duck tape covering my mouth. One of them stood and took out a camera. I blinked as the flash went off. He took more. I just want to go home.

FEW DAYS LATER

"Come on! Get in the damn van!"  One of the men, Alejandro, I think is his name, threw me into the back of a tan van. I was crying my eyes out for the past couple of days. Jon and I were supposed to blow our candles together and steal pillows around the house to make a fort. My back hurt, all I knew was that my back was bleeding and my head hurt, I still don't know what is going on. It was dark outside but dawn was breaking.

From afar, the cabin where the men made me stay at, was up in flames.

The other man in the passenger seat looked over at me, looked away once I caught his stare. Leaning by the van wall, curling in a ball with an old blanket, I fell asleep.

-

Once again, I wake up. It was day. Although, it looked different than Indiana. The trees were tall and its leaves made them look like they had afros. Really pretty afros. I sat up to see even more of those trees. I saw a big sign that had the name of the city in... California? I've heard a lot about this state, wondered about it so much.

The van came to a stop in some alley. The doors opened and dragged me out. I tried to get out from their grabbing but I was just a light weight seven year old. Crying, I ask to be let go. They laughed as one hit the back of my head. "Shut up, fag." That was what Dad called me for some reason. What does it mean?

As we made a turn by the van, they were stopped by a woman and a man who held guns at the men. The man spoke to him, I didn't understand but it seem like they argued. The woman yelled at them as the man struck one of them with the frame of the gun. He bent over in pain, the woman brought me into her arms and to stand behind her. I watch them fight for a while until the men gave up and fled in the van saying that they'll find me.

"Hey. Hey, sweetie." The woman held me. "Are you okay? Oh, God." She looked at my injuries and hugged me. "We'll take care of you now." The blue eyed man came to us, he gave a smile.

We were driving and the woman told me, "What's your name, hon? I'm Teresa and he's Raymundo but we call him, El Güero." I knew that they were together. They gave smiles. "I... Um, Rene." I ate the candy bar they bought me.
"It's okay to be afraid. We won't hurt you."