I Need You

14. Close But Far

I wake up a with throbbing headache. Pain washes me through each and every cut on my skin. It's been more than a week after the incident and it still hurts like a knife is cutting my skin freshly. Someone opens the bedroom door very slowly. It's Aaron. I chuckle and switch on the bed lamp. "I thought you were sleeping, so I was opening the door veryyyyyyyyyy slowly so that it doesn't make sound" he dragged it so much that I laughed at his statement. "The door sound can't wake me up from the sleep. I need something big." I say and we both sit there laughing, because he knows that the slightest sound can wake me up.

The pain is making it worse for me to speak and worst when I laugh. I clutch the pillow beside me so hard. Aaron can't see me like this. I am trying so hard hide the pain and smile. He is speaking but I am not able to concentrate on it. I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. My body is numb and my vision became blurred. He is catching my shoulders and shaking me. I am not able to hear anything. 

"Mia don't sleep. Look into my eyes. Mia look at me" he says softly. I open my eyes to see him but the vision is so blurry. I bring my hand to his cheek and wipe his tears. Even though I can't see his face I know that he is crying. "Shh It's okay D. I am okay. Don't cry" I say but my voice so low. "I called Dr. Millie .  She will be here in 5 minutes." he says hugging me tight. But it is making the pain worse. I pull back slowly. "Sorry D but don't do this. Let's be friends. Or consider me as your best friends sister. Your friends little sister. Don't worry about me. I am fine. Tomorrow Dylan is coming to pick me up. I am going home. Thank you for everything you have done for me." I know this hurts him. But I have to do something. Or he will blame him everything. He will blame him and make him responsible if anything happens to me. He needs to be happy. I will only hurt him more. I will make his life worse. Our relationship costs his life. He is my world. But I shouldn't be in his world. Things will get worse if I stay with him.

Dr. Millie checked my vitals and prescribed some medicines for the pain. Now that my vision is clear I look at his face. His charm and playful nature is gone. I know this is for his best. He is nodding to what Dr. Millie is saying.  Dr. Millie is young and she is pretty. I think she likes Aaron. She is trying to get his attention but he is looking at the ceiling or the floor. "She just needs some rest and a proper diet. Physical stress is okay, but mental stress is dangerous. Involve her in some kind of physical activity." she looks at me and I nod. Stephen accompanies her downstairs. Aaron sits on the edge of the bed turning his back to me. "I am going to train you from tomorrow. You have to stay here for one more month. After that you can do whatever you want. I'll speak to the nutritionist and tell Emma to prepare food accordingly. " he says and leaves the room.

I keep telling to myself that this is for him. Thanks to the medicines, or I would have been awake the whole night thinking about him.

The pain is faint in the morning when I wake up. Emma comes into the room to wake me up. She gives me some milk and tells me that the training session will start in 30 min. I get up from the bed to go to the bathroom to brush my teeth and change my clothes. I don't what he meant by training. But I know it is going to be difficult. Nothing is simple with him. Stephen is waiting downstairs for me. He leads me to a room from the backdoor. The room is very big. I didn't know that there was a training room in this house. Aaron was already there punching the sand bag so hard. "What is this training about?" I ask Stephen who is standing beside me. "Self defense" he says in a very casual tone. But for them self-defense means Shooting, stabbing and kicking the hell out of the opponent. I gulp so hard in fear. "He will teach you the basics of self-defense today. So no shooting, no stabbing" he says with a wink as if he read my mind.

"When I said training it means training not talking." Aaron shouts from his position. "And you why are you late?" he asks pointing to the person on my right. I turn to look at that person but there are two persons standing there Dylan and Damon. I didn't realize their presence I was busy thinking about my training. Damon winks at me and goes to the other end of the room without answering Aaron's question. Dylan gives me smile that says everything. The day is going to hard. I turn to look at Stephen but he is not there. Great I think to  myself and go towards Aaron. His skin is glistening with all the sweat. He punches the bag so hard as I am getting closer to him. 

"Fight me" he says. What? How am I going to fight him.  Damon comes closer to me and puts an arm around my shoulder "What are you doing Aaron? She is in a weak state now. Even if she is alright she can't fight you." he says. But Aaron doesn't speak anything. He just keeps looking at Damon seriously. Damon moves backward. The tension in the air raises. "You said you are going to train her. Not fighting" Dylan says from the same position he was before. 

"Then you two fight with me instead of her." he says and goes into the boxing ring. They both look at each other and step forward. I stop them and I enter the ring. If this is what he wants then let's do it. Let him kick if he wants to. "Why are you standing like that? Is this your way of fighting." I throw a punch in his face but he dodges sideways. Every punch I throw at him is going to the air. He escapes with ease. "To weak" he says. I know I am weak but I should show him what I've got. I increase the speed this time without giving him the time to move. I attack with both my hands. II lo throw a punch straight in his face. My fist collides with his nose. My hand hurts a lot but doesn't even flinch. I punch him again and again. This time he doesn't stop me or he doesn't even try to move. He stands still taking all the punches. My knuckles hurt a lot. I look at his face. It is emotionless and his eyes are cold. His nose is bleeding. But he doesn't care. I move forward to wipe the blood. He steps back and he leaves the room.

I fall to the ground in pain. Both Dylan and Damon come running to me. But I just sway my hand to tell them to leave. But they stay there thinking that I will do something crazy. I get up and go to the sand bag. I punch it hard and hard. I just keep punching it till my knuckles start to bleed. But I am not feeling any pain. All the pain that  I have is the pain in my heart. The hurt in his eyes is killing me. I want him but at the same time I want him to be happy and safe. Only one will be possible. I sit down pull me closer resting my head on my knees and start crying. He is here with me. He wants to support me, protect me and he wants to be with me. And I am just pushing him away. I am hurting him so much. I am breaking his heart over and over again. But he is just enduring me.

They both come and hug me. Atleast Dylan knows what I am going through. He knows why I am doing this. "Mia I don't know why you are putting yourself through this pain. He loves you so much. Don't push him away. I know you need him and he needs you." Damon says pulling my chin up to face him. "We can't be together Damon. It's not good for him." I say and leave the room. "What do you mean by that?" he shouts but I just don't care. I need some time. I need time to think. I need time to think about 'US'. I need time to think about him.