Not Now

Part 4

Lindsey's POV

~

I feel bad that I'm distancing myself from Stevie. I'm not saying that I don't love her anymore or love her less, by no means, but it's... it's been different and it hasn't been easy. This is a hard time for the both of us and I tried, I really did, being supportive, but with each day I found it became more and more difficult. I know that I'm being an ass, when I'm barely responsive to her. We don't talk much and we're not exactly affectionate with each other. I want to change that, I have to change that.

I heard Stevie coming home last night and I felt, when she cuddled up to me, but I just... I don't know, I can't think of an excuse, why I didn't acknowledge her. I feel like a jerk and there's really not much I can do to make up for my behavior, but I want to show her that I care, even if it's a small gesture.

So, while Stevie is still sleeping, I get out of bed and close the door to our room quietly. Walking into the kitchen, I wonder, what's in the fridge. I'm not the best cook in the world, but it's breakfast. Surely, I can manage breakfast.

Since pancakes has always been my favorite meal in the morning, I asked my mother to teach me, how to make them, years ago. Hoping Stevie sleeps through my time in the kitchen, I start working on breakfast. When the batter is done, I hear movement and I guess that Stevie's awake. Damn. I wanted to bring her a plate to the bedroom.

Stevie comes into the kitchen barefoot, wearing her nightie. I look over my shoulder and smile at her. She seems only half awake, her hair every which way.

"Something smells good." Stevie says, filling the kettle with water. 

"I'm making pancakes. I'm sorry, I didn't stay up last night." I apologize and move away from the stove to kiss her on the cheek. She seems to be taken by surprise and it stings. It's not a very good sign if my girlfriend doesn't expect a kiss from me.

"It's okay." She waves it off and takes out two cups. 

We remain silent until I'm finished cooking. I bring two plates over to the table, place one in front of Stevie and set down the other for myself. 

"Maple syrup?" I ask and Stevie nods. I grab the bottle and hand it to her, before pouring some too. "I'm sorry about how I've been acting lately." I speak up after a couple of minutes, wanting her to know.

"I understand." She shrugs, but that's not okay. 

"No, Steph. I should be supportive and instead I've been completely ignoring you." I continue, taking my cup of coffee for a sip. "I swear, I'll stop being a jerk."

"You're not, Lindsey." Stevie says, shaking her head. "I told you, I understand, why you've been acting this way, but it- it'd be nice if you started paying me some attention."

Reaching for her hand, I lean slightly over our small kitchen table and kiss her knuckles. "Maybe we could do something together tonight, after work?"

"Maybe. What would that be?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I put a piece of pancake into my mouth, wondering. "We haven't been to the movies in ages."

"No, we haven't." Stevie agrees.

"I'll check if there's anything we might like. If not the movies, we'll think of something else, okay?"

Stevie smiles a little and gives me a nod. "Okay."

"Either way it's a date." I say, kissing her hand once more.