Not Now

Part 11

Stevie's POV

~

"Thank you so much for letting me stay here." I say to Brandon again and he just waves it off.

"You don't have to keep thanking me, I'm glad I can help you out." He smiles. "Like I said, you're welcome here for as long as you need."

"Good, otherwise, I would have to live on the street." I laugh without much humor in my voice. 

"How come Lindsey got to stay in the apartment?" Brandon asks, moving to the fridge, he grabs two bottles of beer. 

"I chose to leave." I say, taking a gulp. "I'm too sentimental, we'd made a lot of memories there together. I just thought it might be easier to move out."

"Makes sense, I guess." He nods, shrugging his shoulders. "So, I'm going to order that pizza now?"

"Yes, please." I'm starving. And exhausted. I don't have that many things, still, it took a couple of trips back and forth to bring everything over to Brandon's. I feel guilty, his place is filled with my boxes, but he insists, it's okay. 

Brandon excuses himself and leaves the room, I'm sat on the couch all by myself and my mind immediately wanders to Lindsey. He was out, while I got my things. It hurts that we didn't even have some sort of goodbye. After I told him that we're done, Lindsey didn't respond. He just left. I don't know, where he went or to whom, but he was gone. I didn't want to drag it out, so I called the first person I could think of, which was Brandon, and asked him if he let me stay with him for some time. He said, yes, without any hesitation. I redressed quickly and started packing my things. Just hour later, I locked the door and left they key under the doormat. That's it. That's how it went and it fucking sucks.

"I didn't think, you'd be back here so soon." Brandon opens the pizza box and takes a slice, so do I.

"Trust me, me neither." 

We eat in silence for a minute, when he speaks up again. "What happened, Stevie? If you don't mind me asking."

I don't. Brandon is one of the closets if not the closest person after... well, Lindsey, who I have here. And I don't have Lindsey anymore.

"A couple of months ago, I got pregnant." I begin and put my plate away. This still isn't any easier to talk about. "Lindsey was so happy and he wanted that baby. I did as well, but... I realized that the time wasn't right. We'd just recently stopped living from paycheck to paycheck. I couldn't possibly see, how we could survive if we had a baby. I would have had to stop working and Lindsey's salary just isn't enough for all of us. I selfishly made a decision to... to terminate the pregnancy. I told Lindsey and he tried proving to me that we could make it work. I didn't think so. Realizing there was nothing he could do, Lindsey said that he chose to support me. I went to a clinic, I came home and that same night Lindsey was stuck to me. He kept saying, how we were going to make it through this tough time together, that we were going to be okay. However, soon after we began drifting apart so fast..." I sigh, shaking my head as I think about it. "Everything I did bothered him, everything he did bothered me. We'd make up and things would be fine for a day or two, then everything quickly deteriorated again. The cycle kept repeating and I just..." I shrug. "I asked him one night, very recently, if he was happy. He couldn't answer. When I came home today in the morning, we started talking and at first I just wanted time apart, but the more was said, the more I realized that it wasn't going to help. I still love him with all of my heart, but we're just... I guess, we're just not meant to be."

Brandon hasn't interrupted me once as he listened. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, Stevie. I wish I could have helped you somehow."

"No, Brandon. None of these are your problems. And you have helped me." I smile, laying my hand over his. "I mean, you didn't hesitate to take me in and you didn't have to."

"That's what friends are for."

I nod, looking at him. I'm truly so grateful for his kind heart. "And we're okay, right? I mean, last night..."

"I don't know, what you're talking about." Brandon shrugs his shoulders, then smiles, now covering my hand with his other.