Not Now

Part 18

Lindsey's POV

~

I haven't heard from Stevie or seen her in two weeks. Surprise surprise, nothing has change, I haven't magically gotten better. I'm still miserable. That phonecall killed me. I should have known it was stupid of me to suggest seeing each other from time to time, but it's what I want. I still want Stevie to be a part of my life. It felt like a knife straight to my heart, when I felt her hesitate. I'm not blaming her though, I'm not angry. I just wish she didn't try and tell me that she loves me. I... I can't hear that.

Good thing it's Monday morning, it's major delivery day, which means I have to restack shelves and that will occupy me for a good while. Grace is here, as usual, to keep me company as well and I'm thankful she can't stop talking, I have to listen to her, because she always expects a response. If my mind is on Grace, it won't go to Stevie, which is extremely welcome.

The door of the store opens, the bell rings, letting me know we have a customer. I plaster on a smile and greet a young blonde, who's just come in.

"I haven't seen you here before." I say, unsure why. 

"I'm new in town." She smiles. 

"Welcome." I fold my arms and watch her as she moves around, not having replied to me back.

Just a few minutes later, she approaches me again with only a handful of items. I take the first one and I can feel her eyes on me, which makes me lift up mine.

"Yes?"

She shrugs. "Nothing. I was wondering if maybe you could show me around?" I part my lips, but nothing really comes out. Stevie had been the only woman in my life for years, so I'm not sure, how to act right now. Is she coming onto me? "Forget it. It was too forward of me."

Forward that was. She doesn't even know if I'm single. Oh wait, I AM.

"No, no. It's okay." I say. "Uh, why don't we grab a cup of coffee first?" I suggest, checking the time. "My lunch break start in about fifteen minutes."

"Yeah, sure." She nods, smiling brightly at me. "I'm Olivia."

"Lindsey." I introduce myself.

"I know." Olivia chuckles and points to my name tag.

Am I going on a date? Is this a date? No, it's just coffe, jeez. She's just being friendly. 

Those fifteen minutes pass by quickly, I notify Grace that I'm leaving and she just waves back at me. Olivia and I walk a short distance to a nearby coffee shop. I let her go in first and while she's trying to decide on what to get, I ask for a black coffee. Soon, we walk back outside and take a seat at one of the two empty tables.

"So, how's LA treating you?" I ask.

"Well, I can't say much yet. It hasn't even been a week since I've moved."

"Are you planning to become a star?" I joke, why else do people relocate to Los Angeles. Olivia quickly turns serious. "Oh, sorry, I-"

"No, it's okay. My whole family thinks I'm crazy. My dad told me, there are millions of others just like you." She sighs and sips her drink.

"Same reason I moved here a long time ago." Stevie and I were supposed to become famous rockstars. Shit, I'm thinking of Stevie again. "You can see how well my dream has turned out."

Olivia proceeds telling me that she wants to be an acctress, I tell her about my failed musician's career. We share some stories from our past, we talk about our families a little. She's also gone through a breakup recently, I let her in on my heartbreak too. 

It's easy, talking to Olivia. She seems cool and I think she likes me, however, it's just... it's wrong. Maybe it's simply too soon, but as I'm looking at Olivia right now, I still imagine myself with Stevie. Quickly I start comparing them in my mind and Olivia pales in comparrison. I don't know what I was trying to prove here.

Olivia is in a middle of a sentence, when I apologize and cut her off. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?" She creases her eyebrows slightly.

"I understand that you're just being friendly with me right now-"

"Actually..." Now Olivia interrupts. "I think, you're kinda cute." She smirks.

"All the more reason for me to finish, what I was going to say." I sigh. "I'm in love with my ex gilfriend, Olivia. I can't... I can't do any of this." I show between us.

Her expression changes immediately. "Well, at least you're man enough not to string me along." She gets up. "Have a nice life."

Ouch. 

I feel like an idiot, but at least an honest idiot.