Not Now

Part 21

Stevie's POV

~

I should take a huge step back, I shouldn't be touching Lindsey, I shouldn't allow him to touch me. I feel weak, unable to resist the urge to get closer to him. There's so much more I want to do with him, but I SHOULD NOT. 

"What do you mean by saying that?" Lindsey speaks up after a lengthy pause between us.

I shrug, brushing by thumb over the back of his hand. As I look him in the eyes, I can tell that he's confused, I'm messing with his head, which is wrong of me, but...

"I need you in my life." I respond and Lindsey takes a deep breath, shaking his head. I think, he might be telling himself not to say, whatever he's about to say.

"In what way do you need me, Steph?" He asks and again, I grow silent, mindlessly tracing my upper lip with me tongue. The hell am I doing?

"Emotional." I add. "Physical." SHUT UP. "I need you in every way I can have you."

Lindsey frees my hand and takes both in his. He doesn't say anything for a moment, which feels way too long to be quiet. He brings my hands up to his lips and presses gentle kisses on each. The butterflies in my stomach start to awaken and that's not all that suddenly comes to life. 

"You know that you can have me, Stevie. Just say the word and I'm yours. There's no other woman in the world for me. It's always been you." He speaks so softly and I know he's being sincere.

I don't say a word. I shouldn't go with my heart, but if I open my mouth, I'm afraid that I will. I broke up with him, I should stand by that. I shouldn't allow a moment of weakness to ruin whatever progress we've made. If any.

I guess, I'm taking too long to answer, so Lindsey begins again. "I'm going to kiss you. Please, don't slap me." 

It makes me chuckle, but I wouldn't dare think of doing that. Still, I remain with my lips sealed as my eyes are locked with Lindsey's, watching him get closer to me. My heart is racing, his hands cradle my face and he tilts his head a little more to the left and I close my eyes before he presses his lips to mine. It very much feels like the first time. We're both unsure, afraid of what this might mean, of where it might lead us to. However, all I can focus on right now is Lindsey, kissing me. He pulls one hand away and it travels south as he wraps his arm around my waist and draws me in. The sweetness disappears quickly as I have a sudden urge to have him. He senses that, I'm sure, and pries my lips open, his tongue brushes over mine and I moan, finding myself in his lap. I think it's safe to say that we both fear that one of us will ruin everything if we get to speak, so our lips don't separate for a second. 

Lindsey does, however, slow us down and break us apart, but we remain close, the tips of our noses are touching as I stare into his eyes, afraid of what he's going to say.

"Are you sure?"

I don't think twice, nodding my head as I capture his lips. His hands knead my hips, before they move to my backside and he pushes me down, allowing me to feel the effect I still have on him...