Not Now

Part 6

Lindsey's POV

~

I honestly don't know what the hell is wrong with me these days. Ever since Stevie and I started dating, I've been very protective of her and I frown upon her having any sort of communication with other men. It's not because I don't trust her, it's because I don't trust those other men. Honestly, I feel like I don't deserve her, like she's too good for me. I'm simply afraid of some asshole snatching her away from me. I get that it's not right of me to take it out on her just because I have fears, but it happens more often than not, unfortunately.

It seems like we just made up last night and here we are, not speaking to each other again. It's Friday night and we talked about possibly going out, meeting up with some friends, but as I see that's not happening. Stevie has changed her clothes, she has a plain white tank top and denim shorts on, which is usually what she wears at home. The TV is on, but she doesn't appear to be watching it, she's cross-legged, filing her nails.

I enter the living room and take a seat next to Stevie, leaving some distance between us. I look at the TV, then at her, then back at the TV. I open my mouth to say something, but I don't know what I should say. I think, she's doing her best to ignore me, so clearly, I'll have to come up with something.

"I'm sorry."

Nothing.

"Steph, I'm sorry for how I acted earlier."

With a heavy sigh, Stevie tosses the nail file on the coffee table and gives me a look. I'm waiting for her to speak, I can tell there's something on her mind.

"Aren't you tired of this?" Stevie finally asks and I frown. "We're okay for one day, then we're not talking for the next two. Either you or I apologize, we pretend that our problems have been solved, until one of us says or does something stupid again."

"This one's totally on me."

"It is on you." She nods. "When have I ever given you any reason to doubt me, Lindsey? Since we became a couple, we've spent every minute of every day together and if not, it's because you and I or one of us is it work."

"I understand, but please, understand where I'm coming from too." I ask, laying a hand over my heart. "Stevie, you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman. Men are instantly attracted to you. I don't know what happens at work, you work at a bar."

"So?" She shrugs, folding her arms. 

"Well... I'm sure you get hit on." As I say it, I realize I've already lost. How is that a valid argument?

"Of course, I do. But I have a boyfriend, whom I love."

I sigh, sitting hunched over. "I'm sorry, okay? I just... I found out, who you spend three nights a week with and-" I shrug and Stevie cuts me off.

"And just because Brandon is a handsome guy, I'm supposed to be cheating on you with him?"

"It's stupid, I know. I'm sorry."

Stevie shakes her head and reaches for a half empty bottle of beer. She takes a gulp, then looks at me, waiting for me to look back at her. "I'm tired, Lindsey. Something just isn't working anymore."

My heartbeat immediately picks up pace and my eyes widen. "Stevie, I love you."

"And I love you, too. But..." I can tell she's struggling to continue. "I'm not happy." Her voice is quiet, but I heard her loud and clear. "Are you?"

"I- I love you." I repeat and so does she.

"But are you happy, Lindsey?"