Stargazing With You (YamaHina)

1 : Yama

TW: Implied Abuse & Attempted Suicide

Yamaguchi Tadashi was far from loved. He was a forgettable person. A person that stopped by in everyone else's lives and then got left behind. He wasn't anything special at all. When he had been with his parents he felt loved. When he had Suga, he felt known. Now? They were all gone. His parents died in a car crash and Suga moved onto college. Suga was one of the few people who knew at least a little about how things were at home. Not much but just enough. Yamaguchi had promised to call Suga all the time but he had broken that promise too. 

He hadn't talked to Suga in a while. 

Yamaguchi sighed and finally forced his body to move. He moved in a haze, his body sluggish and his eyes blurry. He didn't want to get up at all. He wanted to stay in bed in his tiny room forever. But that left him open to his aunt and uncle. So he dragged himself to the bathroom and pulled on his school uniform. He splashed water onto his face and then stared at himself in the mirror. Anyone else would have seen a sick boy and gotten worried. Yamaguchi saw nothing but his faults in the mirror. He ripped his eyes away and hurried away from the bathroom. His insides twisted uncomfortably as he grabbed his backpack and slowly made his way to the living room. Praying his relatives were still asleep and he would be able to slip out undetected. 

Luck didn't seem to be on his side. 

His aunt and uncle were already sitting in the living room in front of their TV. They both looked haggard and already drunk. Yamaguchi gulped and tried to get out the door before his uncle noticed him. 

"Oh? The coward's awake! Where are you going Yama?" His uncle asked his words slurring together. Yamaguchi winced at the nickname. He hated that he just let his uncle call him that. Only one person in the world had called him that ever. He didn't want the memory to be tainted with his uncle's ugly words.

"To school," He replied not looking at them. Cold clammy hands gripped his neck tightly and Yamaguchi tensed under the grip. His uncle's hot breath tickled his ear and he wanted to run. Run far away from here, but he forced himself to stay absolutely still. 

"Remember who's in charge doll," His uncle growled and Yamaguchi nodded quickly not trusting himself to speak. He hated the feeling of his touch. It filled his body with terror and set his heart shaking and his eyes watering. The hands went away and Yamaguchi immediately pulled the door open and left. He speed-walked until he was out of sight of the apartment and then broke into a sprint. He ran as fast and hard as he could, trying to keep his tears at bay. His body felt disgusting, he just wanted to rip it off of him like clothes. He reached the empty bus stop and collapsed into the seat. His heart palpitating at speeds faster than a normal human heart should. He hugged himself tightly and tried to calm his shaky breathing. His bottom lip trembled and he felt the tears trail down his face. He couldn't do it anymore, he had to get out of there. He wiped his tears when he noticed the bus pulling up to the stop and got up from his seat. He ducked his head and climbed onto the bus. It was somewhat quiet, everyone minding their own business. Yamaguchi sat at the very back away by himself. 

His heart was still beating quickly and his entire body hurt horribly. His eyes were stinging and he was tired. Really tired. He sighed and leaned his head against the window. He stared out at the scenery flashing by. Yamaguchi had planned this for months. He had played this exact day out in his mind. He just hadn't realized it would come so...soon. He also hadn't realized how light it would feel. To know that it was finally time to be free. 

~School~

Yamaguchi skipped practice, it was nothing new really. Instead, he climbed the stairs to the school rooftop. He stepped off of the last step and stood in front of a door. He reached out and let his fingertips brush the cold metal of the door. The cold seeped into him, calming his raging mind and his beating heart. He didn't wait another second. Yamaguchi pushed open the door and stepped out onto the roof. 

It was almost September and the chill was setting in, a breeze ruffled Yamaguchi's clothes and his hair. The sun was still just coming up, not many people would be awake at this time. Yamaguchi looked down and realized he had somehow moved to the edge without his own mind knowing. He placed his hand on the edge of the roof and pulled himself up. He was sitting on the edge now, his feet dangling down from the edge. 

His heart unraveled and his soul emptied. He felt hollow and his grip on the edge tightened as he prepared to jump. 

Yet, that moment never came. 

The door that led to the rooftop opened once more and a short energetic boy walked through it. He froze when he saw Yamaguchi on the edge. Yamaguchi heard a familiar voice scream his name. 

"YAMA!"

Yamaguchi shook as he felt arms encircle his abdomen and hold onto him tightly. 

"Yama..." 

"H-Hinata?" 

~!~!~

-I'm sorry I started this off so darkly :(

 Helo! I'm so sorry this fic dropped out of the radar so suddenly! I am rewriting some things and editing! I apologize for not letting you know sooner!

-wisteria