symbiosis » levi ackerman

chapter ten ; power.

Fallan:

On my way to Levi's office, I found myself smiling at everyone I passed. When I found myself in front of his door, I couldn't remove the smile from my face. However, as soon as I knocked, the feeling of dread began to grip, a lump rising in my throat.
"Who is it?" Levi shouted in his deep drawl. The air felt like it had been knocked out of my lungs, and I couldn't respond. I'd simply frozen. The door flew open, and I was greeted with Levi's bored expression, which very quickly changed to surprise.
"Fallan." he breathed, but quickly regained his composure and let his expression fall to his usual complacent manner.
"I-I..." I took a deep breath to steady myself, pushing away the knot of anxiety, "Thank you. For the tea. May I come in?"
I didn't wait for an answer as a sudden wave of confidence overcame me, and I pushed past him and walked into his room. I stopped and looked around; the room wasn't exactly messy, but it certainly wasn't the spick-and-span state I'd seen it in previously. I turned to face Levi, who was leaning against the door, looking at me with raised eyebrows.
"I was just about to clean up in here, did you need something?" He asked. "I don't usually appreciate people walking into my quarters unannounced."
I sent him a small smile, "I did knock."
He grunted in response as he walked towards me, stopping in front. His hand twitched as though he wanted to move it, but stopped himself. I felt my breath hitch.
"Your hair. It's different."
I nodded slowly and looked away, my hand instinctively flying up to twist a lock around my finger.
"It's nice." he stated bluntly, but I sensed warmth behind his tone. I met his gaze and smiled warmly, the lump in my throat lessening as my anxiety begun to fade. I began to study his features. His jet black hair was in the dishevelled state I'd grown used to, but wrinkles had begun to form on his forehead. His steel grey eyes looked tired, almost sad, and his grey shirt was creased. He looked older - the stress had clearly taken its toll on him. I could still smell the strong scent of lemon and mint emanating from him though.
"Are you okay?" I asked, worry evident in my voice as it wavered slightly. He exhaled, racking a hand through his hair and looking down at the floor.
"I can't imagine how you're feeling about the expedition... I mean-"
"I'm fine." he snapped, interrupting me abruptly. My eyebrows flew up in surprise, my mouth opening slightly. I quickly recovered after a moments silence, clearing my throat and taking a step back. I felt awkward, and incredibly taken aback by his snappiness. I'd only witnessed this side to him around the cadets.
"I guess I'll leave you to it then," I muttered.
"Don't be so childish." he grumbled, turning away from me and placing both hands on his desk. He hung his head and let a dark sheet of hair hide his face.
Clearly he was in one hell of a mood. I let out a disbelieving laugh, and saw him tense up. I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to scream and shout and kick and punch - but I wouldn't. I wanted to release all of the pent up emotions from the last month in a blazing torrent on Levi, but I knew I'd end up looking like a toddler having a temper tantrum. Instead, I decided to reign in my emotions. I wanted to prove them all wrong - I wasn't a child, and I certainly wasn't weak. I was strong, strong enough to control this situation, and one day, strong enough to take on my brothers murderer.
"Jesus Levi, if you want to be left alone, just ask-"
"Just go." he mumbled, then turned his gaze to me. "Please. Just go."
I swear I felt my heart stop for a second as our eyes met. For once, I saw him. I saw past the facade he put up every day - I didn't see a warrior. I saw a broken man.
I nodded, took one final look at him then turned and walked out of his office, shutting the door firmly behind me. The hallway was empty, so I leant against the closed door and exhaled. I felt a pang of regret; the encounter certainly hadn't turned out how I'd wanted it too. I pushed the regret aside, straightening my shoulder and holding my head high.