Do not run Away From me (Elrond/Glorfinel)

Chapter 9

Glorfindel stood in the center of the room, only inches from the Lord of Imladris. His cheeks still flushed a deep red color, almost the same color that Elrond's cheeks were. He felt an odd feeling of warmth, not from the blushing, but from something else. Elrond had told him little about the background of him hurting himself and though it remembered the first reaction, he wanted to ask again.

"Elrond?" The half-elf looked up from the wooden floor as if he had been preoccupied by it. He had kept his head down, to keep from showing the blush on his cheeks, but Glorfindel want sure. Elrond had not spoken since they had kissed only moments before.

"Hm?"

"Do you..." Glorfindel wasn't sure how to go on. He did not want to make the wrong move, he wanted an answer, but that would never be worth their relationship. "Do you trust me?"

Elrond didn't make any move to answer him right away, but instead looked at him with an odd look of disbelief. The Lord did not speak, not yet, but he walked over to the side of the Commander. Elrond looked him in the eyes, a sorrowful glimmer could be seen nestled into all of the other emotions that the Lord showed in his eyes. He took Glorfindel's hand in his own.

"Glorfindel, of course I trust you. I trust you with my life, I trust you with my secrets," Elrond looked down to were their hands were intertwined. "I trust you with my heart."

Glorfindel felt his gaze travel down to where their hands met. Intertwined. Elrond still did not look up to face him in any way, but watched their fingers and they shifted lightly.

"Than would you tell me. Tell me everything. Do you trust me enough to tell me?" Elrond kept his gaze down. He closed his silver eyes with a sorrowful sigh. Elrond pushed away from Glorfindel and walked back over to the glass door that lead to the balcony outside. Where the trees rose, the wolves howled, and where the waterfalls fell.

"Do you really want to know? I will not hide the truth from you if you wish to hear it, but know that it is nothing to take lightly. I will not spare you from the details, for that are important to understanding. I will tell you, I will try to tell you all I can completely remember."

Glorfindel had not expected what he had received. He assumed that Elrond would be upset that he even asked. Yet, Elrond was anything but. Glorfindel stopped across the wood over to the Lord by the window. He looked out, trying to see what Elrond was looking at so intently. Finding he could not see he turned back to the Lord.

"Yes, I want to know and if you will not hind the truth, then so be it. I lost my innocents ages ago, I'm not worried that you might say something, but I am worried that I might say something. Whatever you can tell me Elrond, that is all I ask."

The Lord gave Glorfindel a sad glance, but he did not go back. He beckoned for Glorfindel to come with him. Elrond wakes over to his bed and sat down on the edge. He looked up with a questioning glance which Glorfindel could tell was Elrond's way to tell him to sit if he wished to learn.

"What did you want to know?" Elrond rubbed his eyes before looking over.

"Please, tell me when it started, tell me why."

"A long time back it began. The First Age to be specific. After my capture I found myself in a depressing state of emotion. A state of overwhelming guilt. I didn't know how this feeling came to be, and I do not know what caused it. Yet, without any idea of why it was, I began to fall farther into guilt with the help of almost every person in Hemring. That's when it started. I would sneak out when the moon was high in the sky and I thought. Yes, I did cut open my arms and legs but I could never do any more."

"..." Glorfindel found himself at a loss for words. It wasn't the most shocking thing he had heard in his lifetime, but that didn't mean that it wasn't surprising. He had expected something else, what else he wasn't sure, but something else.

"I had a feeling you wouldn't like what I had to tell you. Do you find it a little too much?" Glorfindel gave the healer a tired smile. He was natural at being a healer because he actually tried to pay attention to his patients emotions. Elrond had been a healer since the First Age and he was the best there was.

"Ai Elrond, I am asking the questions, you are answering. Worrying can be done later." The Lord was once again troubled but he went along with Glorfindel's order. "You said before that you stopped, then you started again. Was it the death of Lady Celebrian?"

Glorfindel had been expecting tears or some form of sadness, he got nothing. The Lord of Imladris had no more to give him than an empty stare. Elrond turned away from the commander and looked to the door where the sleeping world could be seen.

"No. No it was never her. I never loved her and she never loved me. It was a marriage for powerful allies in battle, it was a marriage to secure my linage, it was not a marriage of love. She wanted me to be king and when I did not do so she turned on me, the woman who was suppose to be my "love" forever until the destruction of the world. Like a dog. You think it loves you, you think you can be friends and you can handle it, then it bites you, it infects you. When she died I wasn't sure if I should be upset or not. I choose the latter. She will not miss me and I will not miss her. Nor did I gain what I needed in the pact. My allies left me when she died and I was not  given any children due to the way she acted. No, it had nothing to do with her."

Glorfindel once again found himself surprised. The Lord and Lady always seemed to be in love. They always seemed that they enjoyed their company. Now there were two stories he had heard and they clashed.

"Oh... that." Glorfindel would have jumped if not for the somber tone in the Lord's voice. "Even if our love was forced by the King, we had to obey it, and we suffered though having to pretend that we were close. I'll tell you something, but in doubt you'll believe it. Our marriage was never consummated Glorfindel. Never. She hated me, I hated her, and I left it that way."

The commander felt beyond conflicted. Everything he knew was turning back on its self. Everything he had seen was a lie now. What could he believe and what couldn't he? It was a mess, a tangled, mangled, knotted mess that seemed to change every minute. Sometimes the knot got easier to untangle when more information was given, but most often it just created even more of a problem.

"That means that you were never married! Marriage is a union of the body, and if nothing happened, you would not be bound!" Glorfindel was not sure if he should be happy or not. Elrond have him a teasing smile.

"Do you like the idea of me not being bound?" Glorfindel knew in his mind that the Lord was only jesting, but it made his heart beat a little faster. He knew he was blushing when he looked away from Elrond and focused on the door to the gardens.

"It was only speculation."

"Hmm. I thought you might find it a good thing." Glorfindel was not sure if the healer was jesting again or was being true. Glorfindel turned to him curiously.

"Do you find it a good thing?"

"I'm not sure yet Glorfindel. I'm not sure just yet."

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I'm sorry for the slow you-dates. I had a presentation on high school that went for a long time. For the people who read this, the story is indeed coming to its inevitable end, but that will still be maybe like.... 4 to 5 chapters away. I hope this chapter isn't to bad.

OH! And for my huge Elrond/Celebrian fans. The marriage was contracted (like many marriages in that time period) and they never had children. So everyone here for the twins or Arwen, yeah, you're going to have to go somewhere else...

~Megan