Hello Darkness

Chapter Forty-Nine

The silver moon hangs low, ready to kiss the edge of the crystal sea. It's unreal—magical even, almost as if it's a dream. But it's not, I remember every aching moment of it. We'd driven for hours before exchanging cars with someone just so we could leave an anonymous car at the docks. I'm still unsure if Victor knew them, or if he'd simply hazed them to give up their car.

I stand at the bow peering out at the glittering waves that gently lull the boat. I've always wanted to explore the world, but I always pictured Alma by my side. Now, I'm in the middle of the ocean with the taste of saltwater swirling in the air and I can't help but question everything that I've done. She would have loved this. I can picture myself waking in the morning to find her sunbathing on deck, wearing the blue swimsuit that—thanks to me—she hasn't got to wear.

Broad arms encompass me, hands gripping the railing on either side—the right has a tattoo sleeve of a forest skyline. I can't for the life of me understand why he would keep such beautiful art hidden by long sleeve shirts. The spindly trees shoot up under his sleeve, while the roots bleed down his wrist stopping were it can be hidden with a cuff.

"What are you thinking about?" Victor's voice rumbles in my ear. The almost touch buzzes against my skin.

I sigh. "I was just admiring the ocean."

"Then why do I feel like my puppy died?"

Damn it. I twist between his arms to face him, the railing pressing into my spine. I force myself to look into his eyes and not be drawn to the quirk of his smile—the thickness of his lips. "How is it you can always feel me, but I don't feel you?"

"I can't always feel you. It's more sensitive if we're close or it's strong. But it's mostly because you haven't learned to block it."

"And you have?"

"I've had over a century of practice with Lace."

"Does it feel the same?" I say too quickly. He feels the flicker of jealousy and smirks.

"The base to each connection is the same, but just like relationships with people are different, so are the connections. They each have their own individual feel, their own life and strength. Some are stronger and deeper."

Lace and I are so different, I can't imagine the feelings would be the same—I swallow the bitterness on my tongue. I shouldn't care about the difference.

He clears his throat. "Lace and I learned a long time ago that fire and gasoline cause an explosion. We use our bond for business purposes, she's one of my most trusted advisors, but for anything else we stay out of each other's heads."

I turn back around, the moon's reflection, a pool of diamonds in the dark sea.

"I'll teach you how to block it, but for now your mood is putting a serious damper on my vacation. So, I thought I'd come join you and because I improve your mood."

"Is that so?" I smile, not denying it, but I'm happy he can't see the heat rush to my cheeks.

"Of course. I'm magnificent." He pushes off the rail, leaving me feeling exposed.

I roll my eyes and followed him up to the higher deck, where he stops in front of the ship wheel.

"Do you want to steer?" He says, opening his arms wide, allowing me to step in front of him. My body craves to feel his closeness again, so I do. He closes his arms around me just like before and I bite my lip.

"Close your eyes."

I lean back and look up. I want to run my hand across his day old scruff. I kind of like it that way. "I can't very well steer if I close my eyes."

The rumble of his chuckle tickles my back and our bond sparks. "Just do it."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. My hands wrap around the knobs of the wheel.

"Now search for our bond. You have to know how to find it to block it."

I search for the warmth, the light in the darkness—the hum of the connection that pulled away from my demon.

"Reach out..." he whispers, his breath tickling my ear. "It's there you just have to claim it."

I feel for it. His hands cupped around mine, soft and warm. I nearly hear the buzz. I focus on the current, created by the contact our our hands.

"Good," Victor whispers. He feels closer than ever. The current flows between us—free and open. It's good. It's right. I pull myself along the invisible wire until I'm stopped. I reach out and caress his mind, slowly the wall crumbles.

He's proud, but the pride masks something else. Something that slithers in the shadows, trying to avoid detection, but it's there. Fear.

"Shut it down..." He whispers again. His body tightens as if he'd noticed I'd detected it. "You felt my wall, now build yours."

I follow the current back until it feels like me again. I concentrate and throw down an invisible barrier. And just like that the electricity stopped, and everything seems bland, like the color had been drained. The feeling of his hands on mine is just the budding tingle of a new touch. Not an intense pull edged with desire, and a part of me missed it.

His chuckle vibrates my back again. "Damn. I didn't expect you to slam me out. That wall is sealed tight."

The barrier feels like a living breathing part of me—a protection. Victor travels down it, a light pressure against it. Searching for a point of weakness.

I turn to face him, slipping my hands from beneath his. "You can stop searching." The tapping turning anxious, like he wants to burrow through. "I'll let you back in."

He looks away and for the first time, heatbrushes Victor's cheeks. I'd caught him in a moment of vulnerability. I wonderwhat was behind the fear I sensed, and every part of me aches to hear him tellme.