Save me? // 5sos

2.1

-Jade-

As soon as I got home from the hospital, everyone locked them selves in a room. Shania was left at the hospital to get some blood back because she lost a lot. Everyone else went home. And I'm stuck here, alone in the lounge room pacing back and forth.

As I sit down, my fingernails bitten right to the bone. I can't help but think of Calum.

Why?

That's the question I need to find the answer to. I decide to call over Luke, Calum's best mate.

"Luke? Hey," I say.

"Oh hey Dee," He laughs.

"Dee?" I ask him, chuckling a little.

"Yeah, it's a new nickname I gave to you just then. Because everyone else calls you something different, I want to call you Dee because it's original and I like it," he explains in a kiddy voice. I laugh at him and his logics.

"Rightyo then, um... Can you come over? I need to talk to you in person." I tell him. I hear some shuffling and some faint yelling.

"Is it okay if Bri comes too? She doesn't want to be left alone," he tells me.

"Yeah, duh of course." I tell him. I hear some more faint yelling and some car doors closing.

"I'll see you in 6 minutes Dee," he tells me. I laugh at him and I hear the car start.

"Why 6?" I ask him, still laughing.

"Because 5 is to mainstream for me," he tells me, very seriously. I laugh and we tell each other goodbyes.

I pace some more in the lounge room, to afraid to sit down because I might miss out on something. My mind drifts back to Calum.

Why did he do this to me? I was stupid to like him back and he was lucky I even admitted my feelings towards him. That shit is hard to do. I didn't even see this coming. I thought that we would eventually end up together. Maybe fairytale loves don't exist. Maybe they were supposed to stay a fantasy.

Those times we spent together, must've meant aboulutely shit to him. He threw it all away for Jessi and I couldn't hate that more right now. So why can't I stop thinking about him? Why is he still here in my brain? He knew that I could crack, and especially at a time like this. My mind can't handle all of this. I am not some play toy you can just throw out when not needed. I have feelings, emotions. I am alive. He makes me so infuriated!

He better have a good reason for all of this. I honestly don't know what would be a legitement reason for him to go and do that to me. Calum knew that I was in the stage of being suicidal. He knew that he made me happy again. He knew that this would hurt me. He didn't give a shit about me.

I cry out in tears.

Why can't I stop thinking about him?!

I just want to forget everything that has happened to me in the last 48 hours. I won't cry over him. He's probably out there, laughing with Jessi and his crew. Another thing springs into my train of thought.

Jack came to my house when I told him not to straight after school. Why didn't Calum? Did he want me to be this upset for him? Jack hasn't talked to me in over three years but he still has the guts to come and apologise to me and explain everything to me. Calum made me happier than I have ever been in less than a month, but yet, still didn't come to explain himself or apologise.

Anger boils in my stomach and I feel my body burning with hate. I pull on my hair in frustration and I burst. I walk over to the wall and I punch it. I punch it repetitively so it makes a large crack. I cry as the pain registers in my brain. My knuckles throb and I've stained the wall with my blood. I sit against the wall with my bloody knuckles hand in hand and I slide down the wall.