Sinnerman

Chapter 29 Sweet Revenge & Rage

Trigger warnings; violence and bloody assault in this chapter. Aswell as non consensual sex and some emotional abuse.*

She hadn't heard from Kylo in four days. He'd gone quiet as the grave on her.

She's had nothing but radio silence since the day of the bake sale. He'd scowled at Ben. And her. Then turned on his heel and walked off into the crowds. And she hasn't heard a thing since. She was in hell that afternoon. Back on the stall trying to keep a neutral expression on her face, when inside, she feels like she's crumbling apart.

She wanted to send texts, emails. She wanted to phone him. Leave messages. Anything. Even his anger was better to receive than the stony silence. Evie's coming to realise how cold a sociopaths traits can feel. It was so bitter to be on the receiving end of them.

She can't avoid the fact that she's potentially ruined everything. Her heart feels like it's cracked. And it's agony to get up each day. It hurts to sleep, to exist, to breathe.

She barely eats. She doesn't garden. It takes her an enormous amount of effort to shower. She spends all her energy going to work, biting her nails to the quick, and not thinking about that final text that will come sailing through on her phone, telling her it's over.

The sad thing is, she waits to see it. Printed in bold letters. That Kylo was gone. He wasn't coming back. She's alone again. She's had her glimpse of that tattooed, dashing-dark god. And now he's off, true to form, moving on. Cutting her out and isolating himself again. Just when she thought she'd breached his heart.

One morning, even though it terrifies and hurts her. She puts the flawless necklace back into its velvet box on her dresser. She can't bear it swinging round her neck like a reminding noose of a past love. It's the most beautiful thing she's ever had. She shuts the lid on it and makes a note to send it back to him when she gets a moment.

She sadly drags herself to work. Her spirit and her mood in the gutter. She has a full day. Proofing articles. Researching about the local Todd hardwares stores 150 year anniversary. She went to interview Todd. And upon seeing his lovely home and warm family life, it spears her chest like a javelin to the heart thinking she could have all that; if she'd have loved a different man.

And now she's wretched from losing the most intense man she's ever known.

She floats through her day. Staying late. Making sure that she's backed up all her files on the system. She realised it's incredibly lame. But now she's sadly single, it's not as if she's got anything to rush home for. Not even a pet for company. She remarks to herself as she locks up the office that maybe she'll spring for adopting a stray from a rescue center. Maybe buy a goldfish. Give something some love. Something that potentially will love her back, and not leave her.

And doesn't break her heart.

She drives home on autopilot. It's as if her day hasn't sunk in. She hasn't felt any of it. She sure as hell hasn't been there for it. Half of her was elsewhere. Consumed otherwise.

She goes to the store and tries to make herself feel hungry for some real food. It all tasted like ash in her mouth she was so miserable. She's been sustaining her dulled appetite this past week on nothing more than a cup of soup and an apple here and there for her lunch or dinner. It's as if she doesn't have room in her grim mood to do anything else.

She picks up two bottles of wine. Some oranges. Her mind mopes about doing something healthy about getting some Vitamin C. And she buys herself a tub of ice cream telling herself a lie she can pick at it later if she gets hungry. She most likely won't.

She continues on home. Hankering for a bath and an early night. Being miserable about her wretched love-life was a tiring occupation. She gets up the drive and lumbers her little car into park. She grabs her string bag, and the wine and heads on into the garden, up the porch steps.