No Regrets (a Hunger Games Fan Fiction)

Alternative Chapter 35

--A/N--

So, when I wrote chapter 35, I wrote it two different ways. I chose the other because I can't make it end this way. I think the other ending is more depressing because it has more detail, but this one killed me more to write. Read on, if you wish. The next chapter is the alternative epilogue, because if this were chapter 35, it would be the end. Read on. It starts off from when Damian dies.

“He’s dead.” I say, shocked, looking at Adam.

“I know.” He whispers back, staring at Damian’s body. “What now?”

Then it hits me. “We’re the last ones left.”

“What now?” Adam repeats, walking toward me.

“I… I don’t know.” I whisper, looking at my hands.

“I think I do.” He whispers back, and then he slowly pulls a knife out of my belt. “I’m sorry, Cynth.” He says, holding the knife over my heart.

“Don’t be.” I whisper back, closing my eyes. “Do it.” I may have not wanted Adam to kill me before, but I can’t stand to do it myself.

He doesn’t say or do anything for a minute, so I open my eyes. My gray eyes meet his blue ones, and he’s crying. Adam, crying. I never thought I’d see this day. I don’t want to see this day. I’m glad I’m going to die.

Just now I realize how close we are. We’re inches away. He leans over those few inches, and whispers in my ear, “I love you.” And then he leans back, closing his eyes.

I stand there, completely shocked. I definitely didn’t think I’d live to see this day. “I…” I start to say, and he opens his eyes. I put my hands on his chest just like I’ve seen girls at my school do, and whisper, “I love you too.” Then I drop my hands and take a step back, closing my eyes.

        I hear the crunch of a twig as Adam takes a step forward. I feel the knife’s cold blade against my jacket. And slowly, I unzip my jacket, taking it off and throwing it onto the floor. I shiver when the cold air hits me, but the thick jacket will make my death  more painful. I want it quick. Then I remove my long sleeve shirt so I’m just standing there in my tank top. It’s freezing, but I barely notice.

I feel the knife being placed on my chest again. “I’m sorry.” He whispers again, and he carefully slides the knife into my heart.

        The pain causes my eyes to fly open, but I don’t scream. Instead I look him in the eyes and fall forward. He catches me and leans me against his chest so that I can look into his eyes, and removes the knife from my chest.

“Don’t be.” I croak, and then my knees give out. 

        I fall to the ground, and everything’s flying by in slow motion. My knees hit the earth hard, but I don’t feel the pain. I’m beyond the point of feeling pain now. With my last bit of strength I look up, and his eyes are there. His blue eyes with tears falling from them, fast.

“Cynth.” He says, taking my hand.

“Adam. I… love… you.” I say with my last breath.

And then Adam’s eyes are gone, they’re replaced by blue sky. Blue sky the exact same shade of his eyes. And while I disappear, I hear him say “Cynth, I love you too.” I try to reply, but my voice is gone. Stolen. “No! Cynth! NO! Cynth! C! Cynthia! Cynth! No! I’m sorry! Come back! NO!”

        And then I’m gone.