limerence ; kurama

chapter forty one

y/n's pov

the moment i stepped inside our house, my father, keiko and yusuke were gathered around talking to one another. they turned their attention to me as soon as i got in and i just waved at them. keiko looked somewhat sad and i feel like yusuke already told her.

"oh, you're finally home too!" my father greeted.

"yep just had a stroll around the community, dad." i stated and gave him a warm smile.

i went over to the kitchen to drink some water and i could feel keiko's disappointment but she knew to herself that there's nothing she could do to stop him. i just stared at them in silence and quietly headed to our room upstairs.

i flopped down my bed as soon as i reached our room. i feel so tired with all the things i did today.

now that i finally saw kurama, i just can't put myself to be satisfied with it. what should i do now? should i go back to the demon world now or just stay here for a while?

i only have 2 more years then i'll be leaving this world completely but i feel like there's no more i can do in this world since i sensed that kurama is already contented in here. he doesn't need me anymore.

i could feel my heart shattering into pieces and i can't stop the tears that's been streaming down my face right now. it's like a tears of happiness because i finally find the love of my life but sad, in a way that i felt within him that he's contented with what he has right now even without me.

should i still tell him?

should i tell him how much i still love him even though he put me through some treacherous paths?

i love kurama but why does it has to be like this? why does it have to be so hard for me?

even if i still feel his love for me, why can't he choose me this time?

i may be selfish right now but am i still not enough to please him?

i feel like i've already given all myself to him but how come is he acting blind right now?

as much as i wanted to be mad at him, i can't. my heart is too weak when it comes to him. my heart becomes fragile everytime his presence is lingering through me.

i met a lot of men but he taught me how to feel that true and real love. he's the one who made me feel special and loved, definitely couldn't ask for more of it since it's already enough for me. i know it took me some years to realized that i truly love him, but i'm sure that what i'm feeling is pure with sincerity and pureness of love.

none of us didn't want this happened but of course one has to go through a sacrifice to still make things work but i feel like it's already too late for everything.

the silence of the atmosphere in our room is somewhat deafening. i wiped away my tears that had fallen and just decided to take a quick bath to soothe myself up.

as soon as i stepped into the bathroom, i just let the warm water take over my body. with that, i feel like i'm in kurama's warmth.

"why me?" i asked kurama and i hugged him as our bodies were both underneath the water. my head was just pressed down on his chest feeling his heart pounding in him.

i could feel kurama smirking as he combed my hair with his bare hands, "darling, because you made me feel things that i've never felt before. you brought the happiness that i've been looking for ages ago. you drive me intensely insane and by just feeling your warmth, it calmed me and find it as my home." he explained.

i looked up to him and admire his mesmesrizing features. those golden orbs that i could never get tired staring at, his pale looking skin is something brightens up the darkness we're in, lips that tasted so good and can definitely drive you wild.

we stared at each other as if both of us were in a staring contest. couldn't deny those butterflies were filling our guts that also sends shiver down our spines.

kurama smiled at me and leaned in to kiss me on my forehead.

"i love you and i am more than willing to wait for you to love me back. it doesn't matter how long it'll take, as long as i have you here by my side, it's all enough for me." he exclaimed.

a smile creeped on my face and jumped on him that made him grabbed both of my legs to  place around his torso as i give him a torrid yet loving kiss on his lips.

i opened my eyes and i still feel like it happened just yesterday. the way his delicate touch never left my body that even though it's been years since i last felt it, it's still lingering through me.

as i finished bathing myself, i quickly changed into my sleeping pajamas and headed back into our room.

there's keiko on her window probably just staring at nothing. yusuke must've left our house already. of course, how could i forget about his favorite dish here in our mini restaurant in our house.

"hey, you alright?" i asked breaking the silence filling in our room.

keiko turned around to face me and tears were streaming down her face. i went over to her and give her the tightest hug she needed.

we both sat down on our bed, "how is that man still able to propose to me when i already dumped him?" keiko exclaimed and a light chuckled escaped from my mouth.

"i wouldn't say that you dumped him already. i knew deep down you still love him." i stated and she just sighed.

"3 years is a long freaking ass time, vi. i have no idea if i'll be able to wait for him for that long!" she said as she flopped down on her bed. i lied down with her and still face her.

"if you love someone, no matter how long he/she will be gone, you'll still love them endlessly. if it's true love for the both of you then nothing can ever changed your feelings for one another even if you haven't seen that person for a long time. it'll be alright, he'll be back for you. he loves you, keiko. he loves his family and his friends that's why he'll come back." i assured her giving her a small smile.

she just nodded and gave me a smile as well, "just like you and kurama huh?" she asked.

i chuckled at her, "technically not that much." i stated.

"you know, violet. even if he tells everyone that he's happy with his current life, i know he's willing to come back for you as well. i feel like he's just waiting for the right time this time." keiko explained.

"i guess so." i stated and a sigh escaped from my lips.

"i already saw him." i admitted as i fiddled with my fingers.

i felt keiko smiled at me, "you already concluded that shuichi is also kurama?" she asked.

i nodded, "but i'm afraid of what he might tell me." i said and tears were starting to form my eyes again.

"you don't have to be, vi. i'm pretty sure that it'll be okay since you also deserved an explanation from his side." keiko was the one who assured me this one.

we both hugged each other and both of us could feel each other's heartache and sadness but still hoped that one day, it'll be better eventually.

from this day i decided that i still won't be leaving this world. i'm happy and lucky that i am surrounded with a loving humans and i could never ask for more.