Finding me

Insert 27🥀

Edited: Luvhani Dathi-Praise Mudau

Cover: Caprynda Munyai

Photo: Tebogo and Nondi's date.

If you find any misspelled words, contradictions and errors please leave a comment.

"It was very nice meeting you Raisibe and your food was so delicious" I say

Tebogo is already on his way out, now he left me at an awkward place. Now I have to act like I don't want to rush out like him, so I have to do everything in slow motion. I'm outside on my way to the car but Tebogo is smoking outside the car, I think he's angry, I should get inside the car and let him calm down first. I don't want to make him more upset by being in his space, earlier today he told me he was avoiding me because he was dealing with a lot, so giving him space is what's best. Although I'm concerned about our relationship, how am I supposed to support him and be there for him if I don't know what is happening in his life?

As I expected, he's been mute on me all the way to his place, honestly I don't know why he didn't drop me off at my place. He parks the car in no time and I'm already outside, he's walking behind me silently then unlocks the door, we get in. It's a bit chilly inside the house, I'm being pulled back in an instant aggressively, and he carries me and starts kissing me. I want him to caress and kiss me the way he is right now but that's just me being stupid, the more reason why I should stop him. His other hand is between my thighs, he pulls my dress up and just as I wanted I'm being ripped in two. His groaning and I went from moaning to literally crying, his grip is too tight on my hair. It hurts and I want him to stop fighting with me by using my body, I hold him tightly and wrap my legs around him, I want him to cum and be out Pronto. He tries to get out but he gives up and give in when he realizes that he can't, so he lets out.

"I love you" He says

I don't understand his way of expressing himself if it requires someone else to feel pain, that wasn't us making love it was him releasing his anger out on me.

"Are you okay?" he asks

I don't know if I'm okay or broken, why is he still between my legs?

"Nondi, are you okay? Please say something" he pleads

"You've hurt me Tebogo" these tears are betraying me

I don't want to be weak, especially when he did what he just did.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, please forgive me for taking out my anger on you that way." he says

"I love you Tebogo but I don't want to be used for sex and please don't put labels to get what you want. Please put me down" he puts me down

I'm don't want to say something I'll regret that is why I'm walking out of the conversation, I'm on my way to the bedroom. My legs hurt but my head is worse, I think I should call it a day for now.

I'm pretty sure I passed out last night, I feel tired almost as if I didn't sleep at all. Tebogo is not in bed, I don't know if he came to bed last night but it's good that he's not here because I'm not ready to face him and talk about last night. Everything was going well until he brought up Raisibe's baby daddy and I saw a side of him I didn't know, to top it off he forced himself on me. It brings a bad taste in my mouth but Tebogo is a stranger to me.

"Hey" I didn't see him coming in and also how long has he been standing there looking at me?

I'm sitting on the bed with my arms around my chest, yes I'm still mad at him and I don't know if this will be a good conversation. He looks like someone who was exercising...

"Are you okay?" he asks

I nod, he walks and sits next to me on the bed. He's quiet trying to read my expression, I'm staring at him still mad.