Finding me

Insert 2 🥀

Edited: Luvhani Dathi-Praise Mudau

Cover: Caprynda Munyai

Photo: Thendo Sinwamali as Una Madima

If you find any misspelled words, contradictions and errors please leave a comment.

He just contributed to my bad day but I have to look for a job, I will just stop at a copy shop and print out my CV and take it to different places before going back.
I have been walking around Polokwane CBD for a while now, I am hungry and exhausted. I am praying they call me before the end of this week because I am desperate for a job. I have three stomach to feed excluding mine. I am praying my mother's health is stable at the moment because I can hardly afford her medication. Since I also cannot afford to take a taxi I have to walk home because I can't waste money on that right now, it's a bit far but I have my days walking back convincing myself that I'm saving money.
I just got fired from my job as a cleaner at mall of the north and nine months ago I walked in my room and found my man cold on the floor in a room we rented in Ladana polokwane. I loved him but I killed him.

I wish I did but I am not a killer, no one believes me anymore. All that time when he would lay his hands on me, I would wake up and cry looking at him because I had ideas of killing him but I couldn't, now he is dead. Someone killed him but I am to blame. Why?

Phone ringing

"mma, I will call you in few"

"it's Una mma is very bad Nondi, we need to take her to the hospital" Una

"With what money because I just lost my job, I can't do anything right now" I answer

"If you keep making excuses then she'll die, you will be happy then I guess" Una

She is only 16 and now she is talking to me about excuses?

"Leave school and look for a job and then tell me about excuses" nxah

I have no time to deal with this right now, I know I should have tried and keep up the positive spirit but how can I? I am jobless again.

I don't know how I fell asleep but it's already 6am and my alarm just went off. I carry myself out of bed and clean up everything, my fridge is empty and I have two slices left so I will utilize it. I have to meet up with the detective in few hours.

I am early so I will sit outside on the bench,police stations are not a good place to have peace of mind, there's always those constable who hit on every girl that come to certify, those who are somehow always involved in every conversation that happens there and the loudest that deals with opening a case. The whole station will end up knowing what you are saying and trust me it's embarrassing.

"hello" says a lady sitting beside me

She is on her phone, seems annoyed but gives me a brief smile as she hung up. I know I've been staring so I turn and face the gate to who ever is getting in.

"You want to open a case?" her

I turn to her and shake my head, she nods.

I am not in the queue like the others so I'm guessing that's why she asked.

"If you don't mind me asking, why you are here?" her