Finding me

Insert 29🥀

part 1

The Alibi

i didn't sleep but walked last night now I’m here with Raisibe because she called me all hysterical saying she needs a friend right now. Not that she doesn't have other friends but of all her friends she had to call me. The crazy bitch ended up telling me how she managed to destroy my life in a day, I had to punch her my hand stills hurts.

"What are you waiting for outside, get in" she pulls me inside

She looks scared, not that I'm surprised by her reaction or expect anything at all. I managed to clean up before coming here.

"I don't know how to say this but I think you are the best person to tell this. Well Tebogo will probably never talk to me again..." Raisibe says

I don't think I'll ever be sane again after what I just did last night, I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for doing what I did but I will spend my last days trying to prove my innocent for crimes I didn’t commit.

"I'm pregnant, Neo doesn't know yet but I wanted to tell him last night but he left  saying he'll be back in few, strangely he hasn't returned. “she says

“I’m sure he will be here” I fake a smile

“Yes probably, come with me I want you to help with ways to break down the news to him when he gets here. I have a shirt and a bodysuit for Lerato, just don’t laugh” shes walking to her room

She opens the door and move for me to get in, I walk and sit next to Lerato who is playing with her toys.
She walks to the wardrobe and put on a shirt and then smiles at me still facing the other direction.

“Don’t laugh I tried to be creative with this one” she then turns to face me

I don’t think the shirt is funny or maybe I don’t get the humour behind it, it reads ‘sorry I’m late but you have a good aim’. she moves almost dancing as if I have to notice something so I laugh.

“It is funny now that I think about it” we both laugh

“Wait until you see Lerato’s bodysuit…” shes interrupted by a loud knock on the door

We glance at each other, she is the first to walk outside to the living room. My heart is beating faster that normal, my hands are starting to sweat yes I’m anxious. I look at Lerato who is mumbling to herself focused on her toys, yes I was once her not worried about anything. Now I’m scared of a simple knock on the door, what if its…

I ran here because Raisibe screamed in a way that the whole of Seshego heard her, Shes on the floor crying hysterically now I’m stagnant in front of her not knowing what to do.

“Ms…can you please sit down” says the officer next to Raisibe referring to me

I look at him and then sat at the nearest empty sofa, still trying to be calm.

“I am officer Makwela and he is my colleague officer Mabila, we are here to inform you that Neo Lephalala’s car was found just outside polokwane, it was burned down that the only thing we could identify as his was his wallet that we found a distance from the car, it had his identification card” he hands me the wallet

“the forensic already collected the fingerprints, we also have his remains in the lab to identify what caused the explosion, Ms Seroka we were sent here by the Lephalala family…” he place his hand on her back

Raisibe is facing now still crying but its more like weeping now, she has her face between her knees.
They get up and walk to the door “Our condolences ” he says as he followed his colleague outside. I wipe my tears that I had no idea I had and sat next to Raisibe.
I don’t know what to say or where to begin, deep down I know what it feels like losing someone but now I know how it feels sitting next to someone and not knowing how to react because of guilt.