She Said What?

Chapter 63: I Smell Something Slightly Suspicious

A/N: Whew! Finals are over (hallelujah) and I can finally kick back, sit at my laptop, and work on stuff. My end-of-the-decade fic, for example, which just came back from its beta and needs my attention. And this little thing I've got going here. That could use a little work too. Heh.

So remember – this is filler, but it's filler that will introduce the next plot development we're due for next chapter. Plus...I mean...it's fun. There are Marauders involved, for goodness' sake!

Cheers!

May 14

Goal Status:

Merlin's beard, I forgot all about these! I just remembered because I was trying to open up to a new page, to write something or another that I've already forgotten, and I stumbled upon an old page in which I lamented about my pathetic state in the morning.

And from there, I remembered that one of my big goals at the beginning of the year was to actually wake up in the morning.

My word, I felt such a wave of shame as I looked back to my original goals. I'd written them with such care, feeling like a revolutionary or something, someone so keenly set on being better. I really thought this year I'd keep a tally of my goals, that I'd make sure they were going well and achieve them (for once) but I see they were kind of hopeless.

Clearly, I didn't keep a good track record – so I'm going to try and summarize my progress over the next few months goal by goal.

Being Proper

By this, I meant I wanted to stop eating so much, waking so late, or procrastinating like my life depended on it. I guess, in a way, I've been improving in this arena. The eating thing is kind of a bust – I eat to calm myself down and I've had plenty to rile me up this year, most notably my first date with James – but I'd like to think I'm a little easier to wake up in the morning. There have been days when I wake up all by myself, no help necessary. And, with Livvy's help, I haven't been behind on my homework in a long time.

Achieve Excellent NEWT Scores

NEWTs obviously haven't come around yet, but I think I'm on my way to doing this. All the crap homework we've been getting this year has my mind sharpened. I'm a fast worker and I usually know what I'm doing. All the NEWT practices I've been doing are a piece of cake after everything else I've been through. I really do think I'm going to do well.

Be a Good Head Girl

Except a couple of instances where I was late to an impromptu meeting with McGonagall, I've been doing this pretty well. I've done (most of) my patrols with James, being a good little girl and wandering the corridors on weeknights, and I've been to all the prefect meetings. I think that's about as good as anyone can ask for. I mean, I did put a stop to that April Fool's Day prank, didn't I?

Make Peace with James Potter

Needless to say, this has been the one thing on my list that I can say, with all confidence, has been one-hundred percent achieved.

Ensure This Year is Spectacular

When I wrote this goal, I meant spectacular to be fun, productive, good for me in all the ways that mattered. I meant that I wanted to have a year that made me happy. So, in a sense, I failed myself on this goal – I have had a lot of trauma that has worried and aged me, what-with Livvy's drama, my own insecurity about relationships, Russell's death – but in another sense, I achieved it in the most spiritual sense there is.

Despite all the trauma, I survived. I'm here, aren't I, writing about them?

I came into this year a little girl, hopeful and earnest and ill-prepared for the world ahead of me. But now, with a few battle-scars on my back, I'm ready to be on my own. I'm ready to work hard, lean on my friends when I need them, forge my own path forward.