She Said What?

Chapter 65: I Attempt to Figure Things Out

A/N: I really wanted this to be your Christmas post – you know, on Christmas Day to help you avoid those darn relatives – but it took me an extraordinarily long time to get properly into this chapter. I don't know why, because I did ultimately enjoy writing it, but there you have it. However, it's now up for your amusement and I don't think I'm going to post again until after New Year's, unless we get some kind of miracle and I write at lightning speed. But that's kind of unlikely.

So...I hope you enjoy this (I did) and please remember to review when you're done!

This chapter you should listen to: I'm Only Me When I'm With You, Taylor Swift.

May 27

1:00 PM
Status: Giggly and full

It's days like these when I'm glad I have History of Magic right after lunch – it's a great chill-back period to write about whatever madness occupies my mind during the morning. I can slack off, write in here, without feeling guilty. History of Magic has always been a waste of time – that's why I keep it around in my course schedule.

So...the madness of this morning. Heh. Allow me to explain...

Earlier today – during breakfast, actually – I was sitting with our group and stuffing sausages down my throat, as is our custom, revolting James and Frank while making Alice shake her head sadly at me. However, from across the table, Sirius was doing much the same, revolting Livvy and Remus, while Peter just laughed and sipped his orange juice, unperturbed.

James, having ties to both pigs, sighed and noted, "You know, when I watched Sirius devour a meal for the first time, never did I think I would meet someone who could be his match. But it seems, on this bright sunny day at breakfast-time, I have. And it scares me."

"You know, it would be interesting to pit them against each other, in a sort of eating competition," Peter commented conversationally from over his orange juice. "They're quite well-matched."

"You know, you're right," Alice agreed, watching us critically from over her own orange juice. "I thought these same things when Lily devoured a meal in front of me for the first time."

"I think it's a brilliant idea," James said. "We ought to have an eating competition during lunch today – Lily versus Sirius, to see who can eat more in the shortest amount of time."

Only at this point did me and Sirius manage to swallow properly and clear our mouths to speak properly – and, in unison, we both shouted, "Hey! Not fair!"

"You're making me out to be a hog and I'm not," I defended myself. "I'm just...hungry. Is that such a crime?"

"Exactly, is that such a crime?" Sirius parroted, pouting.

"It is in those quantities," Frank remarked, wrinkling his nose. "I have half a mind to just leave. I can barely sit here and observe this...this mayhem."

"It's not mayhem," I informed him.

"Whatever you want to call it, it makes me want to vomit," Frank announced.

"Man up," Sirius suggested, stuffing a sausage whole into his mouth and nodding vigorously.

"An eating competition...that's positively barbaric, Peter," I said, finishing off my glass of orange juice in one sip. "I can't believe you'd consider – even hypothetically – such a thing."

"I, for one, think it's interesting," piped up James. "I mean, you're both close friends of mine, you're both capable of eating colossal amounts of food without a second thought..."

"You think I ought to challenge ickle Lily to an eating competition?" Sirius scoffed. "Please! The poor girl would lose – and lose badly at that. It's best if we quiet such fanciful ideas before they are spoken."