She Said What?

Chapter 66: The NEWT Chronicles

A/N: I'm on-task and done early – so you get this chapter before midnight (in central time, anyway). Yay!

So as this story draws to a close, there are whisperers asking me to do a sequel. Well, sorry to say it, but no way. When I write a multi-chaptered fic, I swear it is like giving birth. You build and build and build and then finally, this collective bundle of all your hard work comes out and you realize how bloody exhausted you are. You swear you will never go through childbirth again. Maybe you will another day, in a different time and place with different subject matter, but certainly not any time soon. Not after all this.

So I'm sorry if it bums you out, but this mama is tired and quite done. No sequel. But honestly, with the way the last chapter goes, I don't think you particularly need anything more. It felt right to leave off there – and that's not just my laziness talking. Trust me; you'll see when we get there.

Anyway...hope you all are having a lovely start to the year and here's your last chapter of 2009 – and your fourth-to-last chapter overall. Cheers!

I would like to take this moment to interrupt my regularly-scheduled diary ranting in order to bring you...

THE NEWT EXAM CHRONICLES

...because this is all anybody in my year cares about at Hogwarts right now, in light of the upcoming exams that determine our future.

June 2

5:00 AM
I woke up with a jolt and realized that my NEWTs start tomorrow.

My NEWTs start tomorrow. Oh my word. Tomorrow as in twenty-four hours from now?

I want to leap back under my covers and hide there for the rest of my life, safe and warm, away from this place where everyone judges me. I can feel myself reverting to childhood, wanting to be held and fed chocolate by the mouthful. This is not a good situation.

12:00 PM
I've made it to lunch without too much incident. Today, we did some last second review in my morning classes and then the teachers made us stop. We're being told to be calm, cool, collected. We know this. We've studied material all year at a vigorous pace (I can vouch for that one). We're going to be fine.

What do they know? They took their NEWTs before our parents were born. I refuse to calm down. I passed insane about nine thirty this morning.

9:00 PM
I'm going mad. I'm losing my mind. The NEWTs start in such a limited number of hours that I don't even want to count them. I'm not ready for this, I'm not ready for this, I'm not ready for this. There's no way I can take these exams tomorrow. I am too young to contemplate the rest of my life. No, I'm not going to do this. I'm too stupid. Just let me drop out of school, work as a mime, and be done with it. I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this. Oh please, dear Merlin, save my sorry arse. I'm not ready for this.

I think I'm going to have myself a good cry. I don't want to do this. Not at all. I think I'm going to find James. I need a cuddle and I need it now, or I swear I'm going to fall apart. He's under the impression that I'm fine. Obviously, I'm not.

9:45 PM
James keeps telling me to sleep, get my rest. He's already snoring away beside me on the floor of my dormitory. He doesn't know I'm writing by candle-light. If he did, I think he'd be upset. So for him, I'll sleep. Or, at least, I'll try.

11:00 PM
That's it. I'm going to Alice's dormitory, stealing some of her sleeping potion, and having just enough to knock me out for the rest of the night. Otherwise, I might have another nightmare where I failed all my exams and was forced to actually become a mime. And such nightmares are not conducive to a sane, exam-ready Lily.