F̶o̶l̶l̶o̶w̶ Fuck the Rulebook - Kenma Kozume

Chap 30 - Faint hope

Akasuki leaned against the doorframe staring at Kenma as he pulled his bag over his shoulder,

"thanks for having me."

Anytime, Akasuki smiled at him. Kenma lifted his eyes to meet hers. She didn't feel like now was the time for him to leave, she wanted to see him again.

"You know, Kenma," her smile formed into a smirk, "we weren't able to do any homework."

Hook, line, his eyes widened before they returned to their nervous gaze,

"I see," he glanced around anxiously, why is he so nervous, "I'll have to come back tomorrow then," and sink.

"After practice," Akasuki suggested grinning stupidly.

Kenma returned a grin momentarily before returning to his stony expression,

"hm."

That's the Kenma she's used to seeing.

"Hey," Akasuki spoke quietly, "get home safely, okay?"

He nodded stepping back into the darkness,

"get some rest," he glanced up with a faint hope in his eyes, "it was nice meeting your family for the first time."

For the first time? She grinned wider than she thought was possible, does that mean he's hoping for a second time? Maybe a third? Hm,

"I'll see you tomorrow," she stepped back from the doorway, Kenma watching her as he continued to step back, "oh, Kenma," she smirked loosely, "don't stay up too late."

He nodded shaking his head in disbelief, he murmured with a tiny smile,

"whatever," turning around to wander down the street.

She hated watching his back as she walked away. God. Her chest tightened, thoughts flooding through her. Even upon his words of tomorrow, the promise was an empty filling for Akasuki's emotions. She closed the door turning around becoming face to face with her mother,

"jesus," Akasuki yelped, "why are you sneaking up on me?"

Her mother smiled softly,

"you wanna talk about it?"

Talk about it?

"What is there to talk about?" Akasuki asked loosely averting her eyes to the ground, what was she meant to say?

It felt as if she's taken so many steps forward but each time, she glanced back, Kenma was stood at the starting line watching her, how can she continue to walk this path without him? Her mother closely examined her face, taking a deep breath,

"have you told him?"

Hm, Akasuki shook her head. No, she hadn't had the time or confidence to do so, even when she was about to Kenma always sensed the possibility of the truth, silencing her immediately,

"later."

Her mother shook her head sighing heavily turning her back to Akasuki,

"until later turns into soon, soon turns into not yet and then not yet turns into," she glanced back at Akasuki, "never," dipping into the kitchen to escape Akasuki's growing concerns.

Her eyes were wide, never? She couldn't hold onto her feelings for that long, today was the first step towards a potential reveal, all she had to do was continue following the steps, it's that easy, right? She could do it, how hard is it going to be? She clenched her fists charging into the kitchen with determination, blurting out,

"tomorrow I'm going to tell him how much I like him, and, and if he feels the same way then we'll go from there, and if he doesn't," she frowned, "if he doesn't," her words faulted, what if he doesn't?

Her mother reached over pulling her into her chest with a heavy squeeze,

"and if he doesn't, you'll get over him."

Get over him? Is it as easy as that? Her mother says it so easily, Akasuki wondered if she had ever dealt with unrequited feelings,

"have you,"

Her mother nodding knowing the end of the question,

"how do you think I eventually gave your father a chance?" she pulled away with a chuckle brushing Akasuki's hair back staring into her eyes, "if I hadn't been so stubborn from the start, maybe I would have suffered less emotional toll, but that's the point of life, you learn while you live, you know this."

Learn while you live, Akasuki nodded slowly. She knew that. But back then, she wasn't living. And for a new path towards a brighter future, honesty was the first step. Is that what she meant? That's what it sounded like. Akasuki forced a smile slipping from her mother's grasp making her way to the stairs,

"I'm gonna get an early night," she stopped glancing back at her sniggering mother, huh?

She shook her head covering her mouth,

"it's nothing, but don't forget that you need to drop some paperwork off for your father, okay?"

Right, the paperwork. She nodded charging up the stairs, why was she laughing though? She flopped onto the bed, strange, nestling her face into the pillow. The aroma of lingering body spray tickled her memories of Kenma laying peacefully. Ah, to be at peace with the world. The thought made her envious. Her arms wrapping around the pillow tightly, god,

"what am I going to do?"