F̶o̶l̶l̶o̶w̶ Fuck the Rulebook - Kenma Kozume

Chap 66 - In your head

Akasuki slumped over in her bed, arms hanging over her knees as she reached down to stretch her toes. What is she doing with her life? She glanced down at her phone the idea of calling one of boys filling her mind. There’s no way. Not after what happened at the gym. Kenma wouldn’t forgive her. She couldn’t forgive herself, shit. She loosened her grip letting her feet fall back against the mattress, was she actually considering it? Considering leaving? Running away? Just throwing caution into the wind, can she do that? Would she be up for leaving everyone? What if she moved in with her father at his workplace, that could work? There was a knock against her door as it opened a small gap, her mother’s face appearing,
“hi honey, you have a guest.”
A guest? She tilted her head in confusion as her mother stepped aside to gently push Tadashi into the room. Tadashi? Her mother smiled at her,
“I know you aren’t feeling great but he came all this way to see you.”
Why is he here? Tadashi awkwardly scratched his neck as he nodded,
“I was in the area and, we, you, said you’d think about joining us so, here I am.”
Joining them?
“She’d love to,” her mother insisted giving Akasuki a look, “you need to get out of the house.”
She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to go anywhere. Tadashi glanced around the room to Akasuki’s mother,
“is it okay if I talk to her privately?”
Talk? Her mother nodded closing the door, her footsteps receding downstairs.
“This is a shit hole,” Tadashi murmured crouching down to gather her dirty clothes into a pile, if he changes anything, he erases Kenma 
“Wait!” Akasuki insisted scampering out of her bed to pull Tadashi’s arms away, “don’t, touch anything.”
He furrowed his brows dropping everything in his arms,
“what is it? You’re, acting weird and, you look terrible,” he brushed her hair behind her ear, “Suki, what happened?”
What, happened? She tensed at his touch, gritting her teeth,
“please, leave. I’ll leave with you.”
“That’s not answering me,” Tadashi frowned, “we aren’t leaving until you tell me.”
No way. Akasuki ignored him, pulling away to grab clothing to pull on as a sufficient outfit,
“where are we going exactly?”
“Nowhere,” Tadashi shrugged taking a seat on her bed, scowling at her.
She didn’t want to tell him. But maybe she should. No. No, she shouldn’t. She glanced to him, forcing a smile, a lie won’t hurt,
“Kenma kept me up late last night.”
Tadashi furrowed his brows, nodding slowly,
“alright,” a new smile was on his face, “we’re going to the mall, the others are meeting us there.”
Others? She decided not to ask.
“I should’ve invited Kenma, it might seem weird other,”
“No,” Akasuki blurted freezing on the spot, “he’s, probably still asleep.”
“True,” Tadashi chuckled, “he’s a lucky guy having someone as considerate as you,” considerate.
Is that what she was? No. She was far from considerate. Considering it was a lie, she had dirtied her hands with Damien’s, they were now drinking from the same cup.
Soon after arriving, Tadashi and Akasuki had left to venturing forth to the mall meeting their other guests. Tadashi anxiously tapped his feet as Akasuki sat burrowing herself into her coat. Why did she go to such a public place?
“They’re late,” Tadashi groaned.
Akasuki wasn’t listened, her focus zooming in on the cracks of the concrete her feet were stood on. What is she doing here? She was convinced if they knew what had happened, Tadashi wouldn’t have invited her. For sure, they would hate her guts.
“Hello,” a voice spoke from behind the pair.
“Tsukki!” Tadashi exclaimed, filled with sudden happiness, “Hinata! Kageyama!”
So many people. These people. Who don’t even know anything?
“Suki!” Hinata exclaimed bouncing up to her interrupting her trance, “Suki!”
She lifted her gaze to meet his joyful expression, ah, right. Time to pretend. She forced a smile, words croaking out of her throat,
“hey Shoyo,” her gaze fluttered to Kageyama and Tsukishima, “hey guys.”
Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at her before transferring to Tadashi,
“where should we go first?”
Tadashi began to lead the group around, pointing at shops, picking up clothing holding it up against each person. But Akasuki didn’t feel like she was, physically she was stood beside Shoyo, his hand on her shoulder, his laugh filling her ears. It felt so, distant. They all felt so distant.
“We’re gonna get some ice cream,” Shoyo claimed grinning widely, “want anything?”
Hm, was he talking to her?
“Get her something plain,” Tsukishima remarked, “just like her.”
Shoyo furrowed his brows,
“never!” bounding off to re-join Tadashi and Kageyama wondering off.
He’s so full of energy. How? He’s so young yet so free. How? She truly wished she could’ve been that free, like she was once.
“Look who it is,” a voice remarked.
Hm?
“Suki the,” Akasuki knew this voice, turning slowly to look up at Rei’s torturous expression, “slut.”
That was, predictable.
“You do not know,” she cackled, “how excited I was that Damien managed to destroy everything you had spent so little time building,” she slapped Akasuki’s back, “absolutely amazing,” amazing, was that what it was meant to be?
“What do you want Rei?” Akasuki asked turning away from her.
Abruptly Rei grabbed her cheeks yanking Akasuki’s face back to hers,
“don’t you dare turn away from me when I’m talking,”
“or what?” Akasuki questioned, her own eyes piercing into Rei’s, “what will you do Rei?”
Rei furrowed her brows, gritting her teeth,
“I’ll,”
“Run away like last time?” Akasuki suggested, “we were once close, what happened?”
Akasuki knew what happened. Rei chose not to. Memories of Damien’s lifeless body in Akasuki’s arms resurfaced in her mind, only something that the two of them knew. Rei’s only attempt at rescuing their friendship, for her own selfish reasons. Rei dropped her grasp stepping back,
“you’re such a,”
“Gorgeous angel?” a more toxic voice teased appearing beside Rei, Damien.
What, was he doing her? He pouted,
“aw, what’s with the silent treatment?”
Silent treatment.
“Come here,” Damien beckoned holding his arm out to her, she didn’t budge, Damien tightening his tone, “I said, come here.”
Her feet moved reluctantly in fear of what would happen if she didn't, towards Damien into his dreaded embrace. He pressed a kiss against her head,
“you don’t know how bored I was getting with Rei and Travis, but now you’re here,” his hands ran over her hips, fuck, up to her shoulders, “my mind is fulling with great ideas, baby.”
Baby?
“Baby?” a voice complained loudly, Akasuki’s eyes widening, to see Tadashi glaring fiercely at Damien.
Damien lifted his head squinting at Tadashi moving Akasuki to his side for a clear view of them,
“who are you?”
“Who are you?” Tadashi hissed stepping towards Akasuki, no, not anyone else.
“Me?” Damien playfully remarked, looping his arm around Akasuki’s waist, fingers spread over her hip, she can’t let this happen again, “I’m her boyfriend, now, who the fuck are you?”
“I’m her,”
“Stop,” Akasuki spoke looking away from them, ashamed of herself, “me and,” her heart ached at her words, “Kenma, broke up."
“You were dating Kenma?” Shoyo exclaimed in surprise, yet Tadashi's expression had darkened.
“You mother fucker,” the Tadashi they all knew had faded and grown into a completely new person, Akasuki glanced to Damien who seemed to enjoy this situation, turning back to see Tadashi reaching out to her, “Suki, are you fucking serious?”
Damien grabbed Tadashi’s wrist, eyes narrowing like a wolf's,
“do you want a broken wrist?”
Tadashi’s face crumbled, fuck this dude, why does he feel the need to threaten everyone? A large hand covered Damien’s, fingers forcing his from Tadashi’s wrist,
“I’d watch what you’re saying,” Tsukishima.
She owed this guy the world. If Tadashi was to get hurt, she wouldn’t know what to do. Damien hummed loosely, glancing down to Akasuki,
“I see,” he pulled his arm away from Akasuki as Tsukishima stood ahead of Tadashi.
Damien lowered his lips to Akasuki’s whispering,
“I bet you’ve got them all wrapped around your little finger,” he pressed his lips against her ear, “don’t worry, nothing lasts long with you,” he twirled her hair in his fingers, “behave,” she hadn’t noticed the tremble in her legs, “Suki,” his last whisper lingering in her ear as he swiftly walked away with Rei.
The sound of her name had been ruined by with grimy tongue. She, can’t let it get to her. She clenched her fists, taking a short breath as she forced a grin turning to the others,
“what ice cream did you get?”
But the faces that stared back at her weren’t the ones she desired. She didn’t want them to hang onto his words. Not like she does. Shoyo slowly moved towards her holding out the ice cream,
“I got you, um, chocolate.”
Akasuki took it, forcing herself to try some,
“thank you!” she wasn’t a tiny bit hungry, Damien erased it, “it’s pretty good!”
It tasted like fake happiness.
“Are we seriously going to pretend that didn’t happen?” Tadashi snapped pushing ahead of Tsukishima, she really hoped they would, “when did you and Kenma break up Suki?”
“You knew?” Shoyo frowned looking between her and Tadashi, “what, is going on?”
“It’s,” she didn’t know what to say,
“I don’t like this flavour,” Tsukishima remarked holding out to his ice cream to Shoyo, “get me another one.”
Tadashi glared at Tsukishima before snapping the ice cream out of his hand,
“I’ll get it for you,” he stormed past Shoyo dragging him along leaving Akasuki alone with Kageyama and Tsukishima.
Fuck. Tsukishima has saved her every time something bad was close to happening.
“I’m so confused,” Kageyama muttered out loud.
“Shut up,” Tsukishima remarked harshly glancing to Akasuki, “we need to talk.”
Talk? She thought they had been through everything by now. She helplessly held her ice cream to Kageyama who took it reluctantly. She moved to the side out of hearing of Kageyama, Tsukishima following her. Awkwardly, the pair stood with one another, Tsukishima taking the lead,
“if I see him again, I won’t hesitate to break him,” he’s trying to protect Tadashi, “who gave that psycho the power to touch Yams without my permission,” his face screwed up in anger, who did?
That was a stupid question. She did. For as long as she had friends, they were his to play with. There was only one way to prevent harm to Tadashi, to Shoyo, Kageyama and even Tsukishima.
“Tsukishima,” Akasuki hoarsely spoke, “you need to do something for me,” there’s only one way, she grabbed his jumper gritting her teeth, “please, promise me,” his eyes were wide with shock yet he stood still, one thing, one simple thing, “please,” she began to plead, her throat tightening as tears grew, “make Tadashi hate me, make him, force him, to want me gone, out of his life,” her head shot up to look Tsukishima dead in the eye, fears dribbling down her cheeks, “make him wish I was dead, that’s, that’s the safest way for him, you two,”
“Akasuki,”
Safest way. She pulled back sharply, brushing away the tears with a weak laugh,
“you love him, right?” she waited for him to nod, if he loves him, “you’d do anything to keep him from being hurt,” he nodded once more, “even if it meant watching him suffer at the beginning,” Tsukishima shamefully nodded, “then this one time, I ask you, hurt him, make him hurt to the point he hates me.”
“I,”
“Thank you,” Akasuki reached out, patting his shoulder, “I’ve never thanked you for making Tadashi smile so wide,” she stepped back, “I’ll see you around,” she waved shortly at him with a smile, “bye Kei.”
His lips parted, with a sharp nod,
“bye, Suki,” hm.
What a funny time to call her by that name. She continued to wonder away towards the closest exit, as she kept telling herself, it won’t hurt if she doesn’t say goodbye. It won’t hurt. It won’t,
“hey princess,” her eyes lifted to meet Damien’s, “where are your, friends?”
She shrugged,
“where are Rei, and Travis?”
“Like I said,” smirking, “I got bored of them,” he held out his hand to her, “let’s hang out.”
Hang out? She lifted her hand to carefully slide into hers, was it worse to be alone or with him? She didn't know. She didn't want to find out either way. Damien grinned leading her away.