Sweet Night (18+) || kth ||

Chapter 15

WARNING: Contains sexual content and other scenes that audience might find disturbing

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I was a nervous wreck the rest of the day. I don't know what sort of demon came over me when I was left alone with Sujin. The truth was, I only came back because I wanted to tell her not to go. But when I saw her, I just had to. I'm not proud of it. In fact, I was so ashamed of myself I couldn't even look her in the eye. It didn't help that I had to get back to the set already so that I didn't have the chance to explain myself. But I meant every word I said to her.

I've always known that Hangyeol-hyung wanted her. I guess one can never really know a person not until you see the bad side of them. And hyung's bad side? He got his rocks off on power. The thought of someone being helpless against his power, of him being in control, turned him on. That's how I knew that he was lying when he said that he didn't want to take over the company. For him, the ability to control and manipulate people gave him the same kind of kick that I used to get from sleeping with random women. He would spell trouble for Sujin. Once he's had his way with her, she can never get away from him. I wasn't about to let him do that. No, he can step down on me, he can make me dance on the palm of his hands. He can make me beg for mercy if he wants, but he will never, never, control Sujin. I won't let him.

I meant what I said: I will kill anyone who stands between me and Sujin. Anyone.

Nevertheless, that does not justify what I did. And as the hours went by, I was afraid that Sujin might wake up to her senses and tell on me. I wasn't afraid of being caught, though. No. What I feared most was that she wouldn't want to see me afterwards. All I wanted to do was to protect her, but what if I'm the one who drives her away?

I told Mr. Cho that I wanted to see Sujin afterwards, but I wouldn't be all too surprised when the cavalry shows up on my doorstep instead. Thus, much was my relief when Sujin's knock came and there she stood before me, alone. She was still wearing the same clothes from earlier. I led her inside and we stood in the middle of the living room. She looked at me with a blank expression, a gaze I couldn't keep. That was when in saw that she hadn't left her purse in the mailbox like before.

No more secrets, no more lies.

"Sujin-a," I began, but she shook her head.

"Gentleman's question," she said. "Do you love me?"

"Yes," I answered her immediately.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath but didn't say anything. She feared this would be my answer, and now she didn't know what to do.

"I couldn't help it," I explained. "For the longest time, I thought being under the spotlight was what I wanted. I thought that when I get my dream, I would be happy. But I wasn't. Instead, I just got scared. Scared that after all this time, I was just another ordinary man and then everything will be taken away from me. I was afraid that I would lose everything I worked hard for in the blink of an eye. So, I pretended to be someone else to make the people love me, not realizing that they weren't in love with the real me after all. I was lost, more afraid in my entire life than I thought I could ever be.

"That's why I turned to women. I could pretend to be someone else again when I'm with them. A different side of me, but it still wasn't me. But with you...," I paused. I didn't know what to say. Mostly because I don't even know until now what's really going on with me. I just know how I feel. "At first, I just wanted to know what keeps you going. I wanted to know what makes you happy. But as I got to know you... I kept on wanting to know more about you. Because when I'm with you, I am me. I can be myself. I don't have to pretend to be someone I'm not. You didn't care about who I was and even if that hurt me at first, I was just happy I get to be myself around you. Before I knew it, I'm in love with you."