We Were Only Kids// McFly (Wonderland)

You're Not Misunderstood

February 26, 2005 

"I don't get you, Dougie." Harry says. I turn around from where I am, stuffing clothes in my drawer, trying to get it to close. Harry is lying horizontally on my bed propped up on his elbow. His eyebrows are furrowed.

I decided to confide a bit in Harry since speaking with him, Tom, and Danny on New Years. I haven't told him the extent of everything, but just that I was not satisfied with Tom's proposition. Luckily, Harry hadn't mentioned anything to Tom or Danny, but also, most importantly, he hadn't mentioned anything to Lilly during our trip to America to film Just My Luck. I also threatened to never let him use my hairdryer again, which guaranteed his silence to me.

"You want to date Lilly, but you understand that you can't." Harry reiterates. "But when Tom allows you to bend to rules and flirt...it makes you more upset?"

"I'm not sure what you don't get. You pretty much covered it." I state, turning back to my drawer, and pushing in the clothes that are overflowing.

"But...why? Flirting is better than dating!" Harry exclaims.

"Not for me." I shake my head, giving up on the clothes, and leaning my back against the dresser to face Harry. "It's not like that Harry-"

"What, because you want to hook up with her?" Harry asks.

"No!" I say. "Because...okay, look, you like hooking up with girls because there's no commitment and you can just have fun and also because you can talk to girls well. You know just what to say. But I don't want to have to keep meeting new people over and over. You know I don't like that"

"Yeah, but if you dated Lilly, you'd have to go through the 'get to know me' phase then too." Harry shrugs. "And if you want to be in a committed relationship, I'm sure you can find another girl who wants to be in a relationship too. Remember, you're in a band, Dougie."

"But I don't like any other girls." I say. "I like her."

"Alright," Harry starts again. "If you like this one girl that you can't have so much that you won't meet other girls, then why in the hell are you letting her use your phone to call her boyfriend?"

Now that is a good question.

"I don't-" I begin to shrug.

"Because I get the whole 'be really nice to a girl and get her to fall in love with you' trope, Dougie, I do. Even though I may not do it, I do get it, okay? But having the nice thing you do to get her to fall for you be helping her contact her boyfriend is not helping your case." Harry raises his eyebrows.

I let out a sigh, shaking my head. I know, he's right. But isn't the essence of loving someone doing everything you can to make them happy? Even if it sometimes hurts you?

"Look, how do you know you won't just like another girl next week?" Harry asks. I sigh, and practically fall down onto the floor to sit.

Because I'm not you. And she's her.

"I don't know." Is what comes out of my mouth.

"See?" Harry asks, sitting up. I know he's trying to make me feel better, so I can't be angry, but it's difficult that he doesn't understand how I feel. None of the guys will. "I know it's been a while, but sometimes crushes take a while to get over, Dougie."

I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything.

"Hey," Harry says, getting up and patting me on the shoulder. "Cheer up, mate. It's movie night. And you get to pick. Beers all around!"