We Were Only Kids// McFly (Wonderland)

Always Better Late Than Never

May 1, 2005

 I don't mind too much when the guys leave me home alone. Being a shy person, I like being alone. Don't get me wrong, it's much more fun when they're here, but every once in a while it's nice to be able to listen to whatever music I want as loud as I want and yell the lyrics at the top of my lungs.

It's late in the morning now, and after having a lie-in, I've showered and dressed and I grab my Blink Take Off Your Pants and Jacket CD and bound down the stairs into the living room. I pop open the CD payer and put it in the slot, but before I can press the close button the doorbell rings.

Great.

My latest technique for answering the door is to rip it off like a bandaid. Yank the door open before I get the chance to think about anything at all.

So that's what I do. I stamp over to the door and throw it open, holding my breath as I do so.

I breathe out.

"Hey, Lilly. What's up?" I ask. Here she is again. All blonde hair hanging over shoulders and round eyes and pink cheeks and green peacoat and breaking my heart.

"You left your Back to the Future DVD at my flat." She says, holding out the DVD case.

"Oh, thanks." I smile. "I'm sure Tom will be relieved. I'll text him." I walk over to the DVD shelf that sits next to the CD player I was just about to use, and put the DVD into its alphabetized spot, which, low and behold, is empty. I hear the front door close and the sound of footsteps behind me. Crap. I can feel my heart. Thud, Thud, Thud.

As much as I want to ask her what happened with her jerkwad boyfriend after the guys and I left last night, I have a good feeling she doesn't want to talk about it, and so I don't want to bring it up.

I stand up and turn to face her and she is holding something wrapped in aluminum foil.

"I also brought the rest of the pizza. I figured it would be better than ordering pizza." She shrugs, looking down at the pizza, and for once, I'm not the self-conscious one in our situation. But seeing her like this, I wish I could take all those emotions from her. I can handle it. I'm used to it. I wish I could take all this shit from her- her stupid boyfriend, her family issues (whatever those issues are)...everything.

But also- score with the pizza!

"Thanks, Lil." I smile at her and lead her into the kitchen where I put the pizza in the fridge.

"So where are the boys?" She asks, leaning on the counter.

"Harry and Tom went home for the weekend and Danny's with some girl he's been seeing." I answer, leaning my elbow against the counter and looking at her.

"What are you doing?" She asks. I can tell she has plans.

"Nothing." I shrug.

"Do you wanna hang out with me?" She asks.

Yes.

Wait, no!

But also, YES.

I know I shouldn't hang out with her. I'm still kind of trying to get over my crush, and though I'm not as strict as I used to be (obviously, based on movie nights), I know hanging out one-on-one with Lilly will do nothing good for my growing feelings.

She's in a relationship, Dougie!

But also, when's the next time I'm going to get an extended period of time alone with Lilly?