Lost In Temptation

4. Cannonball!

LizBeth

I swear.

To Gods.

This time he was getting a shock collar.

I told him to let me deal with the distress call, as now we were completely on the wrong ship. We were aiming for a spaceship, not a pirate one. "Yo ho ho!" Doctor! "Or does nobody actually say that?"

Down right to the Captain's Cabin, my newly short hair far easier in the humid warmth of the middle of the ocean we were in. But I was also leaving the Doctor to get us out of his mess, which obviously wasn't working. "We made no signal."

"Our sensors picked you up." He kept trying as Fy Annwyl and I made bets on how long he would last before being made to walk the plank. "Ship in distress."

"Sensors?"

He glanced at me for help I wasn't giving as I pulled down my purple blouse, matching my violet gloves. No skin on show, because pirates liked to be handsy. "Yes. Okay, problem word. Seventeenth century. Our ship automatically, er, noticed-ish that your ship was having some bother."

Captain Avery didn't believe. To be fair, he was a pirate, so trust only went as far as the first mate, if that. "That big blue crate?"

Of course this was basically still the dark ages so Witches were a thing. It was usually me who got accused to be a Witch. "That is more magic, Captain Avery. They're spirits. How else would they have found their way below decks?"

"Well, er, I want to say multidimensional engineering, but since you had a problem with sensors, I won't go there. Look, I'm the Doctor. This is my baby sister, Elizabeth, then there's Amy and Rory. We're sailors, same as you. Ooo, ar. Except for the gun thing. And the beardiness, though LizBeth has a thing for beards."

"Okay, I'm officially waxing off your remaining eyebrows."

The Captain was done. "You're stowaways. Only explanation. Eight days we've been stranded here, becalmed. You must have stowed away before we sailed."

His Boatswain was starting to grin darkly as I sighed. I had no idea if he could swim in ocean waters, so I'd have to fix it if he didn't remedy it soon. "Now what do we do with 'em?"

"Oh, I think they deserve our hospitality."

Meaning Rory owed me a tenner because he was already being made to walk the plank, Wild Cat and I apparently to just become maids or something akin to that. "I suppose laughing like that is in the job description. Can you do the laugh? Check. Grab yourself a parrot, welcome aboard."

Avery was ruthless. "Stocks are low. Only one barrel of water remains." Then boil the sea water to take out the salt? That wasn't hard to do. "We don't need four more empty bellies to fill. Take the doxies below to the galley. Set them to work. They won't take much feeding."

Totally wrong when it came to me, but Wild Cat looked desperately at her husband, the one to walk next. "Rory? A little help?"

"Yeah. Hey, listen, right? She's not a doxy. Neither is Beth."

"Fy Annwyl, she didn't mean just tell him off. Thanks anyway. Back in a minute."

Down to the galley, where I easily broke my ropes and then Wild Cats. "Okay, what now, Lovely Lizzy? Rescue the boys?"

No duh. "As normal. Cutlasses down there, I have..." I pulled a staff from my bag, span it, and pulled it into two batons. "Things to hit people over the head with."

Wild Cat laughed and grabbed a cutlass, but paired it with a tri-horn hat and a coat. Because pirates, apparently. We timed our arrival to the Doctor questioning things, as well as Rory's ropes getting untied by my telekinesis. "Boo!" Everyone looked at us as I readied for a fight. "Throw the gun down and kick it to Lizzy."